Concert Nearly Cancelled After Extreme Winds Blow Cigarette Smoke into Madonna’s Face

Madonna Chile 2012 1Madonna threatened to cancel a concert in Santiago, Chile on a rainy Wednesday night if fans at the sound check continued blowing cigarette smoke in her face.

“If you’re going to smoke cigarettes, I’m not doing a show,” she screeched as cracks permeated through her skin like the ground after an earthquake. “You don’t care about me? I don’t care about you. All right? Are we going to play that game? I’m not kidding. I can’t sing if you smoke.”

The most frightening part was when Vag Donna, in a menacing black hoodie, said “WHERE ARE THEY SMOKING?” as she tried to seek out and punish the fag-loving Chileans.

I have to be honest, this is the sort of sea hag I turn into when people (especially strangers) smoke around me. (Better turn the hyperbaric lotion chamber up to 10 tonight.)

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