Madonna’s Kids and Boyfriend Ski Circles Around Her Corpse

Madonna skiiingNew York Daily News has photos of Madonna tumbling down the slopes at a ski resort in Switzerland like a bag of gluten-free Snickerdoodles.

Her daughter Lourdes and 25-year-old boytoy Brahim (almost the same age as Crystal Harris) watched from afar as their mama ate snow, not laughing at all (because if they did, she’d shut them in her hyperbaric chamber with Elton John and Guy Ritchie). 

“Madonna took several spills on the mostly flat trail.”

And this isn’t the first time grandma lost her balance. Remember the Super Bowl halftime show?
Madonna falling

“Madonna — who may want to stick to hot chocolate in the lodge — has earned her downtime”

“Madonna looked like a skiing virgin who touched the slopes for the very first time during a trip to a Swiss Alps resort.”

Material face plant. Don’t cry for her, Switzerland. You’re frozen, when your heart’s… old and mean.

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