Best and Worst Moments and Fashion at the 2013 Golden Globes

Amy and Tina Golden Globes

Tina Fey and Amy Poehler Blew Ricky Gervais and all other hosts out of the water

For some reason, humanity has yet to come up with good word for the female version of a bromance. Regardless, Tina Fey and Amy Poehler’s girlmance/clam-admiration rivals all.

The two SNL funnyladies got laughs without really making fun of anyone. Do you have any idea how hard that is? No, you don’t, because they made it look SO DAMN EASY. Blast.

Tina: Tonight we honor the television shows that have entertained us all year, as well as the films that have only been in theaters for two days. 

Amy: That’s what makes tonight so special, only at the Golden Globes do the beautiful people of film rub shoulders with the rat-faced people of television [pan to Quentin Tarantino]. 

Adele beat out Taylor Swift for Best Original Song

Gawker’s Rich Juzwiak pointed out that the Globes editing is especially “bitchy” compared to other awards shows.

This is why I’m not especially surprised that they cut to Taylor Swift squinting when Adele won her expected Best Original Song statue for “Skyfall.” (Daniel Craig: why did you not run onstage and plant a big, unstealthy Bond kiss on her? Tsk).
Adele Taylor Swift meme

Jennifer Lawrence’s Meryl Streep comment was blown out of proportion

Lawrence hopped onstage for a Silver Linings Playbook win and instantly cracked a controversial “I beat Meryl” joke, which was a joke, because she said “jokes aside” right after…

Overly serious people were all uppity about it because they don’t have the mental capacity to understand that Jennifer Lawrence is not capable of snobbery. (F**k Fox News for calling her “not very classy,” calling Jennifer Lawrence classless is purely the job of.. Jennifer Lawrence.)
Jennifer Lawrence acceptance speech Golden Globes 2013

Lena Dunham won Best Actress in a Comedy Series and best Comedy Series for Girls, thanked Chad Lowe in her acceptance speech

Is there also no word for unlikely friendships? Current Pretty Little Liars star and former teen heartthrob Chad Lowe was included in Lena Dunham’s thank yous because Hillary Swank famously forgot to in 2000 (for Boys Don’t Cry) when he was her husband.

Lena keeps promises. Case and point, the above Twitter exchange, from August.

The teleprompter was no friend to Paul Rudd and Salma Hayek

Am I the only one who keeps wanting to say “Golden Gloves” instead of Golden Globes? Oy vey. The Gloves had a major teleprompter issue when Paul Rudd and Salma Hayek wandered onstage.
Paul Rudd and Salma Hayek Golden Globes 2013
Both were in too much shock to improv and had given up by the time Hayek muttered “Something about the best, uh…” 

Almost everyone’s dresses and suits were hard to make fun of

Joan Rivers might have a hard time writing her Globes-edition Fashion Police jokes this year (no she won’t). Everyone looked pretty good, specifically J-Law, J-lo and J-Mo and Taylor Swift.
Best Dressed Golden globes 2013
Oh fine, Julianne Hough (J-Ho?), Eva Longoria, Amanda Seyfried, Sienna Miller, Nicole Richie, Sarah Hyland and Lucy Liu may have gone a little overboard, but I’m willing to forgive.

(Check out this Jon Hamm, Ben Affleck and George Clooney tuxedo menage a trois.)
Worst Golden Globes dresses 2013 1
Because I’m famously lazy, I will simply post photos of their outfits instead of writing a detailed list of insults.
Worst Dressed golden Globes 2013

Jodie Foster is a Stone Age lesbian with a retirement plan?

Jodie, slow your roll. We haven’t heard from you in years and then you just show up, getting everyone all riled up with your heart-melting speech.

She was like “I’m gay, what happened to privacy?” and everyone was like: “But Jodie, this is public,” and she replied (in her head) that she was empowering herself by taking away the power from others.  Classic I’ll-take-my-privacy-away-from-myself-before-you-take-every-remaining-shred.

Last I saw her, she was getting revenge on scumbags in The Brave One, and continuing her quest to make us like scumbag Mel Gibson, who was there, seated next to her and the one other person (Robert Downey Jr.) willing to forgive his hatred for black people, women and Jews.

Anyway, I don’t think Jodie Foster is retiring, she’s just going to keep not being in very many movies.

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