Justin Bieber Sings, Flashes Abs and Makes Beliebers Laugh on SNL

Justin bieber abs SNL You know what the gym rats say. “Having abs because you’re skinny is like having big boobs because you’re fat.”

And it’s true. After a week of rehearsal, Justin Bieber brought his puny, effeminate Ken doll/Vanilla Ice lookin’ frame to Rockefeller Center for Saturday Night Live.

The monologue had me wishing Whoopi Goldberg, who made a cameo for Black History Month, had strangling-length dreads.

Here’s the issue. Justin didn’t try to be funny because he knows he doesn’t have to for his fans to say it was amazeballs. His mental and physical growth has been stunted by fame. Those vocals too. I mean, with that perma-cold, I could sing just as well.

And sing he did. Not only as the music act, but as the host, as if the stage was just another Believe Tour pit stop (and a p*ssy-ass platform to say he’s “never gonna do” drugs again).

If you’re reading this as a female Bieb-loving wacko, know that it’s not your fault…
Justin Bieber Saturday Night Live performance Your urge to rock Justin, with his rosy cheeks, uncalloused hands and mother-kissing lips, back and forth in your arms is a natural response to a baby-obsessed society where children grow up pushing toy strollers, maternally brushing Skipper’s hair.

2 thoughts on “Justin Bieber Sings, Flashes Abs and Makes Beliebers Laugh on SNL

  1. Is it just me or does Justin Bieber have a bunch of bad luck? Everytime I turn around something different happens to Justin whether it be falling off a stage, having some girl come out and accuse him of sleeping with her, or just something stupid happening to him. I mean I hear about bad stuff happening to a lot of stars, but Justin just seems to pop up in the news all the time when something bad happens. And these news articles arent coming from fake magazines like STAR or EXAMINER either.


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