Dirt-faced street peasant Patricia Krentcil, also known as “Tan Mom,” lurched and rubbed her brown body all over the recording studio to create a new song with the standard issue auto-tuned chorus.
In “It’s Tan Mom,” Krentcil tells us that she’s the sexiest fame-whore mom in the world of Z-list fame-whore moms. “Sexier” than porn star/Teen Mom Farrah Abraham and “hotter” than Octomom, she says.
Here are some lyrics by (or written for) the New Jersey potato skin:
“My name is Tan Mom. Tanning is the bomb.”
“I’ll be in not a tanning booth but outside with the birds. No, that doesn’t work, forget the birds.”
“I’ve got a message to use protection from the sun. Hahahaha.”
“I am cool. I’m the cool one. I’m hotter than the Octomom. The world can’t judge me now.”
“So I want you to back away. Get away from me every day.”
At first we paid attention to her because we thought she was guilty of child endangerment, now she’s a world-renowned comedian. What’s that? Laughing stock is different than comedian? Hush, inner voice.
If you aren’t done being horrified, click for old fried eggs simmering on the beach.
The Twist Gossip 