You may know Shenae Grimes as Annie Wilson on that blasphemous remake of Beverly Hills 90210, but before The CW spoiled her with L.A. sunbeams and endless Frappés, she played virginal spirit squad member Darcy Edwards on Degrassi.
(Me and an army of Canadian Mounties refuse to accredit 90210 for anything.)
Anyway, Darcy/Shenae/not-Annie laughed in the face of tradition when she wore a black Vera Wang dress at her May 10 hipster wedding (Keira Knightley, eat your heart out) to British model and musician Josh Beech at a HAUNTED hall in Ashford, England.
That girl would never have paid homage to the harlot witches of Salem if she hadn’t been corrupted by American television. I’m a second away from picking up my rotary phone and telling my nosy neighbors what happens when you play the Josh Beech record backwards.
After their vows, they walked hand in hand to a Beastie Boys and Led Zeppelin mash-up (true) towards a giant cauldron full of puppy dog tails and anti-wrinkle cream (false).
They then rode off into the sunset on a vacuum cleaner like Kathy Najimy in Hocus Pocus.