Famous Men are Paying to Have Their Balls Smoothed Out

danny devito glassesPowerful salt-and-pepper god George Clooney made “ball ironing” an actual craze when he joked that he’d gotten his unwrinkled.

The owner of a popular spa in Santa Monica says Hollywood is all over the non-surgical “Male Laser Lift” where the old willow sap bubbles are smoothed out, the hairs are zapped off and the age spots are erased.

According to the cosmetic expert with the porn star-esque title of “Nurse Jamie,” celebrities, bankers and CEOs are paying $575 for the process, which takes roughly 70 minutes. From the Daily Mail:

Like women, she explains her male clients are keen to ‘keep their garden kept’ and it’s purely for aesthetic reasons. 

During the movie awards season she’s apparently inundated with requests and now many are gearing up for the Emmys this September.

She continues: ‘They thought the Brazilian bikini wax was crazy ten years ago and now it’s just part of the process . . the tide is turning – don’t knock it until you try it.

‘Down there the skin ages, it’s a thinner skin like that around the eyes.’

Men who think women will be impressed and wooed by smoother balls have obviously never seen their own balls. It’s like the damn building managers who keep approving construction on my apartment building…

It doesn’t matter how many times they paint it, I’m still going to get lead poisoning from the water and gag in the hallway because it smells like eggroll farts and stale popcorn. Lipstick on a pig sack.

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