In her new book, former MTV VJ Kennedy talks about how her interview style was inspired by Howard Stern, an awkward encounter with Thom Yorke, and Madonna’s unlikely romance with Black Flag vocalist Henry Rollins. And then there’s the time Michael Jordan tried to devirginize her with a pair of dice.
Not like, insertion.
Apparently she was sitting around in New York with Russell Simmons and Michael was all like “If I win, you come back to my hotel room with me tonight.”
She definitely makes it sound like he was joking, writing that he quickly reminded her that he had a wife and ended up agreeing to play for bball tickets instead of Georgia O’Queef.
Kennedy says she freaked out because she was a virgin –and imagined MJ’s giant penis would “eviscerate me from the inside out” … so she asked if they could play for Knicks tickets instead.
And that’s when Jordan allegedly reminded Kennedy he had a wife — and offered her Nets tickets as a consolation.
“Sure, he’ll filet my vag like a sea bass if he won at dice on a men’s room floor,” Kennedy writes … “but as soon as I want basketball tickets he’s a Promise Keeper? Whatevs.”
Kennedy says she won the dice game anyway — so her vag was never in any real danger.
She grew up just a few miles from my apartment. If any kids want to pull a good prank I suggest going to her parent’s house and hanging black dildos in the trees with pictures of Jordan’s face wrapped around them. I’d do it but dildos are really expensive and my wrists hurt from killing Zombies in Black Ops.