Good news, haters. Gwyneth Paltrow said this really atrocious thing to Cosmo UK about how the sun can’t hurt her.
I don’t know if it’s because she’s Blythe Danner’s daughter or because I have a weird uncalled-for obsession with the movie Duets, but I just keep expecting so much more from Gwyneth.
“We’re human beings and the sun is the sun – how can it be bad for you?” she said. “I don’t think anything that is natural can be bad for you.”
While I think she was probably just talking about Vitamin D, which has been proven to decrease the chances of heart disease, the wording makes me want to throw Apple and Chris Martin on a kebab.
Even if there weren’t massive holes in the ozone layer because people in the ’20s and ’30s made refrigerators and hairspray out of Krypton’s core, it still wouldn’t be good to sit in the scalding hot sun for the duration of a Madonna concert.
There’s this thing called cancer. I know she’s heard of it because her dad died from the throat variation…
“I understand how you can do something bad for you because I smoked forever,” Gwyneth told Harper’s in a slightly similar interview from 2011.
Maybe next time just say you like being in the sun even though you know it’s bad for you?
Because I’m pretty f*cking sure that poison ivy and rattlesnakes are natural and you don’t see me rushing to wipe my ass with them. Speaking of that, poop is natural and eating it can give us potentially lethal bacterial infections.
Sorry Tan Mom. Sorry Snoop Dogg. Sorry hipsters. Sorry menstruating women…
Just because weed and the sun and coffee beans and cacao seeds aren’t made in a factory doesn’t mean they’re doing wonders for your brain. Studies show that more than 50% of studies are bullsh*t.