The Los Angeles Lakers are considering taking a crucial step in becoming a little less douchey by electing to use their amnesty provision on forward Metta World Peace, the athlete formerly known as Ron Artest. If they go through with it, MWP will be picked up by another team and will continue his career elsewhere.
I’m okay with this situation for two reasons. One, I hate the Lakers, and a decent portion of their fans are pretty butthurt right now about their precious Metta’s (probable) departure.
And two, I hate the guy. Plain and simple.
I’m not going to talk much about his performance as an athlete, because there’s no question that he’s talented. And while his game has declined a bit over the last few seasons, he’ll have no problem getting picked up by another team.
No, I want to talk about his off-court insanity. Seriously, have you seen this guy? I mean I know the name change was fucking weird, but we’re used to that: Gwyneth Paltrow’s son and daughter are named Moses and Apple, respectively. Bruce Willis’ kids are Rumor, Scout, and Tallulah. And Frank Zappa’s kids are (not kidding here): Moon Unit, Dweezil, Ahmet Emuukah Rodan, and Diva Thin Muffin Pigeen. Yikes.
His name change was of course a giant publicity stunt and it’s totally disingenuous when you consider the fact that he was once arrested, suspended from the Kings, and put in jail for domestic abuse (so metta). But I’m talking more about his behavior itself.
During his opening season playing for the Bulls, he applied for a job at a Circuit City in order to obtain the employee discount. He used to drink Hennessy during halftime in the locker room. And he once attended practice for the Pacers in a bathrobe. And that’s just the tip of the iceberg.
The bottom line is that MWP loves attention. And as a resident of Los Angeles I can honestly say that this town is full of fake, shallow attention whores just like him. It’s time the Lakers look to the future and send him on his way. He’s been an asset to the team, but he’s annoying as fuck, and I’m totally fine with him being crazy elsewhere.
I just hope he never deletes his Twitter, because it’s fucking gold. Check out his mysterious “announcement” nonsense from Monday afternoon.