Lady Gaga’s Got a Secret, But What the %&#! Is It?

Lady Gaga naked v magazineLady Gaga has a secret and the state of New York is gonna keep it, save it, lock it in their pocket and take it to the grave….

Nosy bitches have learned that Gaga begged a judge to seal damning documents involving her former producer and songwriting partner, Rob Fusari and Wendy Starland, who are often credited for “discovering” the phenom.

You don’t create the thing you discover, but congrats to Rob and Wendy for using their eyes and ears, I guess. Anyway, I have no idea what the secret is, and that makes it fun.

What else could we possibly learn about the cocaine-doing, eating disorder and daddy issue-having singer of Madonna and Queen-influenced pop?

It’s obviously about the penis or tail she had removed. We’ve seen her entire vagina in Japanese Vogue, so what on earth would she not feel comfortable sharing? Sex tape? Michael Jackson, Tupac and Elvis are alive and playing dominos together in her condo? She has a team of lookalikes who perform in her stead, like Natalie Portman and Keira Knightley in The Phantom Menace? HELP ME.

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