I think at this point it’s pretty safe to say that we all just want Justin Bieber to disappear. And while vanishing into thin air is probably a longshot, we might be able to land the next best thing: deportation.
You don’t usually think Justin Bieber when you think deportation because, you know, he’s an enormously rich, white celebrity who is legally residing in the US. But technically speaking, he’s not a citizen and his recent scuffle in the Hamptons could theoretically get his ass kicked out of the US and sent back to Canada. I know, it’s like that movie The Proposal. Except when I watch The Proposal I don’t have a deep urge to punch Sandra Bullock in the face.
All that would need to happen are these two easy steps:
1. Biebs is accused of assault or battery in regards to the Hamptons case (defined as “threat of bodily harm coupled with an apparent, present ability to cause the harm.”)
2. The assault is deemed an “aggregated felony,” which could lead to deportation for any non-citizen.
Which means a one-way ticket back to Canada. Pretty swell, eh?
Unfortunately, it probably won’t happen and will likely be more or less brushed off. But it’s nice to know that it’s possible. Somehow. Someway.
Maybe next time he’ll do some actual damage and really get himself in trouble. Until then, restaurant owners, LA drivers, the residents of Calabasas, and anyone else in America that Bieber has ever annoyed in some capacity, will just have to endure the shenanigans.