Nicole Kidman Fell Over

20130912-162029.jpgA story about Nicole Kidman falling is no more news than a story about me sitting on the couch snorting crushed Wonka Candy and Moscato is because she’s as light as a feather and as white as Grandpa’s Ford Escort and was probably even blown sideways by Tom Cruise’s size 6 [in women’s] footsteps, but TMZ is running it anyway.

The site reports that Kidman was knocked off her feet by a paparazzi on a bicycle during New York fashion week. Cops were completely unsympathetic, saying “An accident’s an accident.”

Also, when they asked the offending photographer for his papers, he pointed at her. Because she’s WHITE, WHITE, WHITE LIKE THE LIGHT. (Electric Six song, Google it.)

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