Lots of strange things are happening in the world today. The government shut down (as if they were ever doing work), someone got a tattoo of donkey-faced Miley Cyrus swinging from a sad-faced wrecking ball, and dinosaur erotica exists.
Author Christie Sims, who describes herself as an “everyday Midwestern girl” whose “inner thoughts are filled with lusty thoughts of big, strong, powerful monsters having their way with beautiful maidens,” has written multiple dino romance novels with titles ranging from the simple Ravished by Triceratops to the even simpler Mating With The Raptor.
Here’s an excerpt from In the Velociraptor’s Nest featuring a woman named Azog, because curiosity really killed the cat / weirdest genre ever / fifty shades of weird / why God why:
Azog felt the kiss of sharp claws against her skin as the hide slid from her shoulder and exposed on naked, heaving breast. The raptor paused, curious, sniffing at her as she pressed desperately against the wall.
A reptilian tongue, stiff and hot, dashed out to lick at the tender, naked flesh so suddenly exposed. Azog gasped at the touch, then gradually relaxed as her body warmed to the intoxicating sensation of the beast’s flesh against her own.
She wasn’t sure if her sudden arousal was because of her earlier thwarted climax in the cool stream, or if she was just desperate for one last pleasant sensation before being torn limb from limb by the great, scaly beast. Either way, Azog relished the rasp of its tongue, hot and rough, on her sensitive skin.