Rejoice! The Swiss Cheese Pervert is Behind Bars

Swiss cheese pervert mugshotLast weekend we heard about a 40-something man in Philadelphia who was terrorizing women by putting cheese on his penis, driving up to women and asking them to blow and/or handy j him.

This age old story with the added bonus of things we usually put on sandwiches came to a conclusion when Chris Pagano, nicknamed the “Swiss Cheese Pervert” by the press, was arrested this morning in Norristown.

Turns out, Pagano was also cuffed in 2009.


Monday: Court documents revealed that Pagano was arrested in 2009 after he allegedly “removed a large block of cheese from his pocket” and offered a woman on the street “$20 to rub the Swiss cheese on his penis.” Pagano pleaded guilty to disorderly conduct, and a solicitation charge against him was dismissed. 

So at this point I supposed he’s not so much behind bars as awaiting trial, though I really don’t want to live in a world where a man who puts cheese on his wang and asks women to touch him has friends or family that still talk to him (and consider posting his bail).

How hard would you laugh, cry and/or run if I saw this spectacle in person?

How the hell did it take five days to catch Swissy McNuts when he had a prior arrest for the exact same crime?? As much as I love writing about freaks, I would prefer the cops be less incompetent and do a little more to keep guys like this off the street.

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