‘MUTUAL’ SEPARATION ALERT: Paula Patton Blurs the Lines Between Her and Robin Thicke

Robin Thicke and Paula Patton happyWholesome actress Paula Patton and her ass-grabbing, threesome-loving husband Robin Thicke are living proof that “separating” is the new divorce.

In a statement to People Magazine, Patton said that her and Robin “will always love each other and be best friends” but have “mutually decided to separate.”

I can’t help but think this is grown-up speak for, “we’ve had an open relationship since 2013, and I’m tired of it.” That would at least explain him turning a socialite into a human puppet and making out with a mysterious woman with an epic afro in France.

Can we all try to agree that everything Miley Cyrus touches turns to sh*t? Nine out of the ten twerking midgets are dead, strippers caught syphilis from the money she threw at them and after The Hunger Games, Liam Hemsworth will probably end up shaking and clutching his knees to his chest in a cave watching a loop of his ex grinding all over Thicke’s nuts. (Perhaps Paula Patton and Jennifer Lawrence will take pity and throw mini bags of Doritos and stale gas station donuts at him?)

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