Putin Just Repossessed Ukraine’s Attack Dolphins

russian attack dolphinsNow that former Ukraine president Viktor Yanukovich is gone, the two countries are going through a nasty falling out, with macho Russian prez Putin taking back a fleet of war ships and now battle dolphins.

True story. Back in the ’60s, when Ukraine and Russia were one big Soviet family, the military began training dolphins as a means of defense in a top-secret division of the navy that was “restarted a few years ago” according to ABC.com.

The highly intelligent mammals (along with sea lions, apparently) were recruited for tasks such as “patrolling open waters with detection devices,” “defending against mines and enemy divers” (operation non-human shield?), and “attack missions.” 

I know I’m not the only one reminded of Dr. Evil’s frickin’ laser sharks…

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