Contrary to the headline, Gwyneth Paltrow really hasn’t said anything too “silly” about her divorce, but many do seem offended by her seemingly stuck-up refusal to actually call it a “divorce” in her original and follow-up statements.
In the first, she left a bad taste in the mouths [of people who probably already hated her] by using the term “conscious uncoupling” to describe her separation from longtime douchehub Chris Martin.
Recently, Paltrow published a
recipe brutal guide to cutting off a chicken’s legs and head with a little “P.S.” message attached. “CM and I in deep gratitude for the support of so many,” she wrote.
And again, people called her an asshole, I guess for using his initials as if she’s everyone’s down-to-earth friend? Well, fuck you all. I wouldn’t mind being Gwyneth Paltrow’s friend one bit…
I’m not ashamed to admit that I’d let her buy me cardigans and brush my hair while watching Dynasty over a glass of chardonnay, or that I’d knock on her door disguised as Madonna and Oprah on days she was feeling sad, and neither should you.