In a desperate and obvious attempt to keep up with Marvel, Warner Bros. has confirmed that Zack Snyder will unite Batman, Superman, Wonder Woman and Cyborg in 2017 for D.C.’s version of The Avengers.
As Warner’s new slave, Snyder will attempt to churn out hit after hit while being whipped with film strips from Sucker Punch by former Batman actors (really just Val Kilmer) yelling “NEVER AGAIN!”
Clearly Henry Cavill and Ben Affleck are no Chris Hemsworth and Robert Downey Jr., but what sad, forgotten superheroes will be pulled out of D.C.’s skintight universe ? Here’s my pitch:
After reading a Blackfish-style exposé by Clark Kent, Flash and Batman discover Aquaman posing as a dolphin at SeaWorld. They regret rescuing him and flush him and whatever evil alien army threatens to destroy earth this week down Wonder Woman’s invisible toilet.
With Matt Damon as Aquaman, Edward Norton as Flash and Tori Spelling as Green Lantern.