In the news recently, I was unsurprised to learn that a girl in North Carolina dumped poison meant to exterminate termites into her grandmother’s collard greens while she was at church.
It gets worse… This all happened because grandma, one Gaylon Moody of Fayetteville (a dead ringer for Sweet Brown), confiscated her cell phone for a week.
The seventeen-year-old Fayetteville girl allegedly dumped insecticide and termite killer into a pot of collard greens her grandmother planned on eating for Easter dinner. The station reports Moody cooked the food before attending church for services, and ate the meal when she returned home.
Moody and her friend Clifton Evans both became ill after eating the collard greens, reports the station.
“About an hour and a half later, we started getting sick,” Moody told the station. “My fingers started feeling numb, (and it spread to) my chest, my face, my mouth.”
A friend of Moody’s rushed the two to the hospital, where they were treated and released.
Teens of today care more about technology, and what that technology represents, than family. Not having the thinnest, fastest phone is a social tragedy, and not having a phone at all is like, so much worse than a dead grandma.
Phones, laptops and gaming devices are as addictive as the heroin that killed Peaches Geldof. We rely on them, and having things we rely on taken away from us makes us angry.
So remember, never have weapons or poison under the same roof as a teenager. They have the impulse control of chimpanzees on bath salts and cannot be trusted not to kill you or your relatives.