Adult Circumcision Greatly Reduces Risk of Prostate Cancer (Grab the Scissors!)

A Canadian study done on 3,208 patients found that circumcised men had a substantially decreased chance of developing prostate cancer.

14% for white males who had the procedure as babies and a whopping 45% for those who had it as adults.

Any time someone brings up circumcision I think of:

1. Megan Fox’s sea cucumber reference in Jennifer’s Body.

2. The Sex and the City episode where Charlotte compares an uncut man’s penis to a Shar Pei.

3. Matt on Nip/Tuck circumcising himself at home after his surgeon father refuses.

Because having uncircumcised junk is straight-up bad for you and increases the risk of contracting STDs that are linked to cancer, I strongly urge wives and girlfriends of these men to grab the butcher knives and go to town on their sleeping husbands and/or boyfriends.

Pretend you’re Michonne and your significant other’s penis is a zombie.

…Or like you’re a few points away from beating your high score on Fruit Ninja and all that stands in your way is a single banana.
Oh, and head over to if you’re interested in scarring your mind for life by watching a terrifying NSFW video of an adult, non-surgical circumcision. 100% guaranteed to make the area where your dick is or would be (if you’re a woman) hurt like hell.

2 thoughts on “Adult Circumcision Greatly Reduces Risk of Prostate Cancer (Grab the Scissors!)

    1. I would say “you don’t want to know,” to sound sinister and trick my readers into thinking I’m even pervier than they already suspect, but we’re truthfully all just one Google search away from weird medical videos like that.

      I’m surprised it wasn’t on Tumblr though… I SWEAR I didn’t order a side of bouncing boners with my Emma Stone and Jennifer Lawrence GIFs. REALLY.


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