So I was playing video games the other day, not paying much attention to my surroundings and I glance to my left randomly and see this freakish pale-faced figure peering at me through the blinds. It’s a good thing I was already wearing an adult diaper because I was terrified and thought Slender Man was visiting my room to punish me for wondering how anyone could believe in or fear a malnourished half-human, half-octopus man in a suit.
Not at all making light of the children who recently stabbed their friends and family in the name of this urban legend, but is the resemblance to Slender Man and my cat not uncanny?
She’ll totally lure you onto the sofa, hypnotize you into petting her and then pierce random parts of your body with razor-sharp teeth at unexpected moments.
(A Slender Man graphic novel and Slender Cat spinoff are inevitable.)