Bieber Injures Wrist in ATV Crash

Justin bieber four wheelerLast week, wittle baby Justin Bieber climbed up on a big bad four wheeler and hurt his itsy bitsy wrist. Did I mention he was arrested, or that Selena Gomez was there?

A photographer in a minivan reportedly caused the ATV crash in Ontario, but it’s more probable that he sprained his wrist texting, shaking his fist at the paparazzo he got in a fight with or whacking off to pictures of himself.

The weirdest part is that noted lawyer Gloria Allred is getting involved, and at first I thought she was repping Bieber (which would make sense since she’s all about protecting women’s rights), but she’s on team paparazzi, looking to imprison the Biebs in rusty shackles somewhere comparable to where Bane sent Batman, I hope. 

I was talking about this story to a friend yesterday and she randomly said “What if Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez get married?” And I was like, ermm, they’d get divorced and then married again and then divorced and married again and so on.
justin and selena on a four wheeler atv in ontario, canada justin and selena on a four wheeler atv in ontario, canada
Selena and Justin would both probably marry Taylor Swift in between their marriages to each other for added scandal/tabloid fodder.

3 thoughts on “Bieber Injures Wrist in ATV Crash

  1. Why, oh, why can’t it be something permanently restrictive, like a massive concussion or an inoperable anal tear? You know, something to keep the little fucker out of the running for the next forty years?


  2. or he hurt his wrist trying to hide his face from the photographers. seriously what’s the point of that when everyone knows exactly who you are? he’s probably faking the injury and or milking it to help his case against the papazzi.


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