New Star Wars Movie Will Be Called…

the force awakens memeDisney has revealed the title of the first film in an upcoming string of attempts to heal the damage caused by George Lucas’ last three sequels.

The official title is “The Force Awakens,” which sounds like the Eat, Pray, Love of Star Wars movies to me. Unlike, The Phantom Menace – which was written by racially insensitive preschool students –  and its follow-ups, The Force Awakens features original withering cast members and  J.J. Abrams as director. 

Here’s a possible plot synopsis, via i09:

Luke Skywalker has become the most powerful Jedi ever, but he doesn’t believe he’s the wisest. He doesn’t want to make the mistake his father made by thinking he knows what’s right for the universe. Skywalker becomes somewhat deranged in his seclusion. He is consumed by his fear that if he should return to “society” his power could be misused, he could be manipulated, and he may accidentally hurt the ones he loves.

Abrams is responsible for uniting Uhura and Spock in Star Trek, something we totally always wanted to see, so maybe after enjoying a nice spinach quiche and Oolong tea, grandma Luke and grandpa Leia will finally bang. Right in front of Han Solo. And Adam Driver. And Lena Dunham.

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