Angelina Jolie Releases Video Announcing her Chicken Pox, Glares Menacingly at Amy Pascal

Angelina Jolie glare amy pascalOne year after announcing a double mastectomy, Angelina Jolie wants you to know she’s f*cking fine and just needs a second to stop being scratching her beautiful face and body with her gnarled witch hands.

“I will be home, itching and missing everyone, and I can’t believe it because this film means so much to me,” she said in a video to her fans.

You see that photo? That’s not the face she made when she found out she couldn’t promote Unbroken due to her outbreak, it’s the one she made when she found out Sony executive Amy Pascal was a backstabbing, knob-eating slag who shit-talked her in emails.

(She might also pissed because Unbroken wasn’t nominated for a Golden Globe, but that’s just kinda what happens when you make a movie starring Cook from Skins in spandex, isn’t it?)

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