You Openly Hate The Kardashians Because You Secretly Hate Yourself

I’m sick of hearing the world complain about Kanye West appearances, Caitlyn Jenner‘s Arthur Ashe Courage Award at the ESPYs and Kim Kardashian‘s Rolling Stone cover. It’s starting to sound a lot like jealousy. Bored trolls have taken it upon themselves to take a massive exploding dump all over everything this family accomplishes, and yes, most … Continue reading You Openly Hate The Kardashians Because You Secretly Hate Yourself

Kourtney Kardashian did the Naked Pregnancy Photo Thing

Kourtney Kardashian – my favorite, because she’s grumpy, throws the most shade at Kim and loves white meat even though it’s highly frowned upon in her family – is about to pop out another baby and figured she’d preserve the moment in time forever by showing her blown-up pregnancy belly and surprisingly not blown-up bosoms to the world via a … Continue reading Kourtney Kardashian did the Naked Pregnancy Photo Thing

Paper Mag Rep Says They Barely Photoshopped Kim Kardashian’s Naked Behind

The publication responsible for front-to-back Kim Kardashian nudity, Paper Mag, says that “none of the photoshopping they did on her was drastic.” Not that we haven’t already been wondering for the last 5 years how a human woman could have a waist that thin and an ass that could break even the largest pair of yoga pants, but … Continue reading Paper Mag Rep Says They Barely Photoshopped Kim Kardashian’s Naked Behind

Is Kendall Jenner MORE FAMOUS than Kim Kardashian?

According to the internet, fashionista Kendall Jenner is smitten with Chris Brown while simultaneously trying to steal Justin Bieber from Selena Gomez and become a Victoria’s Secret Angel while jealous models put cigarette butts in her lattes. Lately Kim Kardashian has been reduced to boring mom updates while the eldest Jenner streamrolls straight over her and into the spotlight. … Continue reading Is Kendall Jenner MORE FAMOUS than Kim Kardashian?

Kardashian Wedding Details: The Hot Pastor, White Batman, George R.R. Martin & More!

I want you all to know that this article is the result of me involuntarily waking up at 8:00 a.m. and laying in bed with a heating pad on my bleeding uterus while watching nothing but E! News. Feel my pain. Two hours of Kim Kardashian wedding coverage and five Reese’s Peanut Cups later, I learned as … Continue reading Kardashian Wedding Details: The Hot Pastor, White Batman, George R.R. Martin & More!

Rob Kardashian Not Invited to Kim’s Wedding?

The least important Kardashian was not present at his sister’s elegant Italian wedding due to reported “major family drama” just a few hours prior. If I had to guess, I’d say Rob couldn’t afford to buy the two seats on the plane for himself, or that he just barely missed the doctor-approved second trimester of pregnancy… but fat … Continue reading Rob Kardashian Not Invited to Kim’s Wedding?

Some Guy Almost Fell Over to Take a Selfie With Kim Kardashian

A picture is worth a thousand words, or in Kim Kardashian and the paparazzi’s case, a thousand dollars and up. This random lad from the street literally bent over backwards to pose with the star of American Horror Story: Armenian for a photo that is worth nothing unless he expects to get poon by Catfishing girls into believing he … Continue reading Some Guy Almost Fell Over to Take a Selfie With Kim Kardashian

The Internet Especially Hates These Photos of Kim Kardashian and Kanye West

The latest Vogue spread featuring Kim Kardashian, Kanye West and their daughter North has its own “Kanye taking a picture of your selfie” meme and has caused Sarah Michelle Gellar and others to consider canceling their subscriptions, which probably means it was a success. You’ll notice the photo below has a wall of mirrors as a backdrop … Continue reading The Internet Especially Hates These Photos of Kim Kardashian and Kanye West

Does Kim Kardashian ‘Deserve’ to be on Vogue?

Turns out, Anna Wintour isn’t opposed to Kim Kardashian, or hashtags (the latest cover of Vogue features both). Or maybe the magazine’s bloodmother just likes money as much as Kim and the rest of the Kardashians. Her and her perfect mate, the male version of her in terms of credit limit and ego size, Kanye … Continue reading Does Kim Kardashian ‘Deserve’ to be on Vogue?

Khloe Kardashian: “Leave My Sister’s Nipples Alone!”

If you haven’t already heard, Kendall Jenner’s nipples caused a huge scene at a Marc Jacobs fashion show in New York because 1. She’s KARDASHIAN famous. 2. She just turned 18, and people are freaks. 3. Men and women alike still go apeshit over the human body because we’re all surrounded by jiggling asses and duct … Continue reading Khloe Kardashian: “Leave My Sister’s Nipples Alone!”

Kim Kardashian and Nicole Richie Force us to Remember the ’90s

Kim Kardashian and Nicole Richie at age 13 bring back sweet Dr. Pepper lip balm-scented memories of fluffy pens, flared jeans, smiley face binders, inflatable furniture and Alanis Morissette cassette tapes. Kim posted a picture of her and Nicole being “oh so cool” for throwback Thursday. Even with braces and baby fat, these two are sadly … Continue reading Kim Kardashian and Nicole Richie Force us to Remember the ’90s

Khloe Kardashian Finally Filed For Divorce

We all predicted a Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom divorce as soon as we all heard they got married after only dating for one month, but we were wrong. The marriage lasted a good four years and didn’t end because they merely got sick of each other like so many other boring celebrity romances. This … Continue reading Khloe Kardashian Finally Filed For Divorce

Video: Kanye West – “Bound 2” Feat. Kim Kardashian

Ray J may have made a sex tape with Kim Kardashian and written a song called “I Hit It First” but Kanye put a ring on it, had a baby with it and continues to hit it, making him the victor. This becomes especially apparent in the new “Bound 2” video featuring vocals by Charlie … Continue reading Video: Kanye West – “Bound 2” Feat. Kim Kardashian

Khloe Kardashian Drops ‘Odom’ From her Name, Keeps Ring On

In oddly sad celebrity news (if you’re capable of feeling sorry for people whose combined family income could get the country out of debt), Khloe Kardashian can’t go outside without someone whispering about her husband’s homelessness, affairs and the NBA career he could have had if he wasn’t addicted to crack. This is however, a world … Continue reading Khloe Kardashian Drops ‘Odom’ From her Name, Keeps Ring On

Kim Kardashian Gets Hair To Match Brains

Who do you think of, when you think of the quintessential blonde? Paris Hilton, Elle Woods, Heidi Montag, Marilyn Monroe, Courtney Stodden, Anna Nicole…? I know I just pissed a bunch of people off by putting Marilyn in with those clowns, but really, who deserves a spot on the list more than the utterly brainless … Continue reading Kim Kardashian Gets Hair To Match Brains

Kim Kardashian Sent Out Fake Baby Photos to Weed Out Rats

Inspired by the seasons of The Sopranos she just watched because she heard about James Gandolfini’s death and thought it was a prequel to Sister Act, Kim Kardashian cracked her shaved knuckles and practiced her skills as an accomplished and menacing mob boss on her friends. In an attempt to weed out the rats, Kim sent … Continue reading Kim Kardashian Sent Out Fake Baby Photos to Weed Out Rats

Darth Vader, Voldemort and Sally Jessy Raphael React to Kim Kardashian Giving Birth

Kim Kardashian’s vagina became a protractor last night and erupted into full saber-toothed tiger early this morning. I mean, contractions. And labor. Either way, the red priestess gave her a baby 5 weeks early because, you know, sorcery is not an exact science. Three of the most dreaded villains of all time commented on the news on … Continue reading Darth Vader, Voldemort and Sally Jessy Raphael React to Kim Kardashian Giving Birth