Former Hugh Hefner Girlfriend Contemplated Suicide

Holly madison hefnerHugh Hefner’s most famous (and oldest?) girlfriend has written a tell-all book detailing her time at the Playboy Mansion.

In Down The Rabbit Hole, 35-year-old Holly Madison apparently describes living at the mansion and being with Hef as a “nightmare” that ultimately led to her “sitting alone in a bathtub contemplating suicide.”  Continue reading “Former Hugh Hefner Girlfriend Contemplated Suicide”

Today, J.D. Salinger Would Have Been a Sex Offender

Jd salinger jean millerThe documentary Salinger on Netflix is very interesting, and not only because of the countless fans who would show up unannounced at J.D. Salinger’s house and leave notes asking for “some answer to something in their lives,” the journalist hired to sneak a photo of an aging, highly reclusive Salinger, or even John Lennon’s killer’s obsession with Catcher in the Rye that stuck me about the film. It was his repeated relationships with underage and much younger women, which are highlighted in detail for the duration of Salinger.

1. In 1941, at age 21, Salinger began dating 16-year-old Oona O’Neil, “debutante of the year” and daughter of Nobel prize-winning playwright Eugene O’Neill who was photographed by yesteryear’s paparazzi at clubs with a glass of milk because she wasn’t old enough to consume alcohol.

2. In May of 1946, not long after suffering a nervous breakdown during his time in WWII, Salinger met and married Sylvia Louise Welter, a member of the Nazi party. At 27, she was hardly underage, but this relationship is interesting not only because Salinger himself was Jewish but because it only lasted less than a month after they had returned to the States.

He didn’t try to kiss me or hug me or squeeze me or anything the way other people did. Maybe I was too old for him. I think he liked younger girls. I was only 7 years younger, I think maybe he preferred 12 years. Younger than that…

-Leila Hadley Luce, friend

3. At age 30, after his annulment to Sylvia Louise, Salinger began a platonic relationship with Jean Miller, then 14, who describes walking along the pier and sharing popcorn and ice cream with him. “I was fresh and new like a breath of spring,” she says.

4. Salinger met his second wife, Claire Douglas, when she was 19. They married when she was 21 and he was 36. The 15-year age difference wasn’t the problem, it was his refusal to attend to Claire or his children while writing Franny and Zooey in a shed on their property.

Thinking back on the guys who sat around the poker table, what distinguished Jerry out of that pack was that there was in him no doubt that he was going to be published, no doubt that he had an enormous talent, and no doubt that everybody else at the poker table was inferior to him.

-A.E. Hotchner, friend of both Ernest Hemingway and J.D. Salinger

5. In 1965, after Salinger, 54, published his very last story, he sent a letter to 18-year-old writer Joyce Maynard after she appeared on the cover of New York Times Magazine. They lived together shortly, but the relationship ended when Salinger told Maynard he was not interested in having any more children. She went on to write about her time with him, which of course made Salinger almost as irate as the time his editor put a comma in one of his short stories without his approval.

Read: Why Joyce Maynard Is Right About J.D. Salinger

 

 

 

Tatiana Maslany and Rooney Mara Up For Big ‘Star Wars’ Role

Emmy-less Tatiana Maslany (Orphan Black) and Oscar-less Rooney Mara (The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo) are both up for a leading lady position on the next, next Star Wars movie. NOT this year’s The Force Awakens, but the one from 2015 directed by Gareth Edwards (looking to redeem himself for the Godzilla reboot). British actress Felicity Jones (Autobahn, The Theory of Everything) is also screen testing for the job.

In a perfect world Mara, Maslany and Jones are testing for a role as Mara Jade Skywalker from Timothy Zahn’s awesome Star Wars books, the Thrawn trilogy, which should honestly serve as source material for any new SW movie.

Tell me you don’t agree after reading this description of Zahn’s Heir to the Empire:

It’s five years after Return of the Jedi: the Rebel Alliance has destroyed the Death Star, defeated Darth Vader and the Emperor, and driven out the remnants of the old Imperial Starfleet to a distant corner of the galaxy. Princess Leia and Han Solo are married and expecting Jedi Twins.

The Thrawn trilogy has been credited by many for keeping Star Wars going and was the only known remedy for people with debilitating post traumatic Phantom Menace disease.

In the off chance that they are actually auditioning to play Mara Jade, Google Image Search suggests we picture them in Scarlett Johansson’s Black Widow costume from Iron Man 2 and The Avengers… 
orphan black attack of the clonesRead: Why Tatiana Maslany Should Be On Your Radar

Double D*ck Dude Hopes to Bring ‘Something Positive to the Table’ With New Memoir

man with two penises bookThe man with two penises, aka Double D*ck Dude – who you may remember from his highly informative Reddit AMA – has written a book about what it’s like to live with Diphallia. While talking to Rolling Stone, he said he hopes to do more than just make money with Double Header: My Life With Two Penises.

He says his condition since becoming an internet phenomenon has allowed him to help people who feel different in general. “With so much negativity in the world, the ability to bring something positive to the table is a great feeling,” he says.  Continue reading “Double D*ck Dude Hopes to Bring ‘Something Positive to the Table’ With New Memoir”

‘Snowpiercer’ is a Much Grittier ‘The Hunger Games,’ For Railway Enthusiasts

Chris Evans snowpiercer still If you haven’t seen Snowpiercer yet, you need to, immediately. Here’s what it’s about, in case you saw it on one of those Best of 2014 lists and were still on the fence….

Basically, in the future – 2031 to be exact – the human race has decided to release a chemical into the atmosphere to cool the climate, but it works too well and freezes everything and the last few remnants of mankind are stuck on a train that circles earth once a year.

It’s based on a French graphic novel (Le Transperceneige), and is basically a much grittier, gorier South Korean version of The Hunger Games, except on a train.

With Chris Evans as Katniss (or Princess Elsa), Jamie Bell as Peeta, Tilda Swinton as Effy, and Ed Harris as President Snow. HUNGER TRAIN!
Frozen arm snowpiercer
The train circles the earth once a year and works on a horribly unfair class system, with the people at the back of the train eating roach protein and getting their arms frozen off and broken with sledgehammers by the rich sushi-eating folk at the front when they misbehave.

Brooding dude in a beanie Curtis (Captain America) decides to do something about it and break through the security gates to take control of the “eternal engine” with the help of an imprisoned drug addict and his clairvoyant daughter.  Continue reading “‘Snowpiercer’ is a Much Grittier ‘The Hunger Games,’ For Railway Enthusiasts”

Ermahgerd I Need Somebody to Hibernate With Until ‘Game of Thrones’ Comes Back

With four major deaths and a fight scene just as epic as the Mountain/Viper showdown, the Game of Thrones finale was everything we hoped for except that it was only the 10th episode and that one guy who was evil but oddly likable totally croaked either by a crossbow bolt or a sword/falling down a hill.

But honestly, how on earth will you spend your Sunday nights now that Thrones is over??

I know I’ll be parading around pretending like this will be the finale that causes me to read all the Song of Ice and Fire books as soon as I have a free second. (Which is never, because I’m always busier scratching my nose until my brain leaks out.) Continue reading “Ermahgerd I Need Somebody to Hibernate With Until ‘Game of Thrones’ Comes Back”

Harvard Library Contains Book Made From Human Skin

Harvard dead skin bookLook closely at the accompanying image. Neat, it’s an old leather book. Well, look more closely because this motherf*cking book was once a person.

Harvard University has just confirmed that their massive library contains a volume bound in human skin. The 19th century French owner of the tome wrote a note explaining the choice…

“This book is bound in human skin parchment on which no ornament has been stamped to preserve its elegance. By looking carefully you easily distinguish the pores of the skin.”

It’s “meditation on the soul life and after death” and the skin came from the back of a female mental patient who suffered internal bleeding and died suddenly in the hospital. In other words you can (sort of) rest easy, because she wasn’t slaughtered for the sole purpose of book makin.’ In a way, her body was put to good use…  Continue reading “Harvard Library Contains Book Made From Human Skin”

Kardashian Wedding Details: The Hot Pastor, White Batman, George R.R. Martin & More!

kanye smilingI want you all to know that this article is the result of me involuntarily waking up at 8:00 a.m. and laying in bed with a heating pad on my bleeding uterus while watching nothing but E! News. Feel my pain.

Two hours of Kim Kardashian wedding coverage and five Reese’s Peanut Cups later, I learned as much of interest as I would have if the TV had been turned off…

Some poor E! correspondent had it so much worse, as she stood outside listening to dozens of Justin Bieber fans singing “Baby” in front of a hotel in foreign accents all because they thought he might be attending the wedding and wouldn’t stop even when she stuffed Cannolis in her ears and assured them he wasn’t there.  Continue reading “Kardashian Wedding Details: The Hot Pastor, White Batman, George R.R. Martin & More!”

Crowned White Walker From Last Week’s ‘Game of Thrones’ Was Once a Stark Named Bran?

Night's King Game of Thrones walkerAn HBO GO employee accidentally spoiled that baby-stealing white walker as being a legendary figure in Game of Thrones lore in a summary of the “Oathkeeper” episode, and his story is quite interesting.

Known as the Night’s King in the books, the walker was once a Commander of the Night’s Watch, and according to Old Nan in a Storm of Swords, a former Stark who shared not only bloodlines with Bran, but also a name.

The Night’s King lost himself over a woman with ice-cold skin and bright blue eyes and was taken down by rulers of Westeros (including his own brother) after committing “horrific atrocities” that included sacrificing to the walkers.

While Old Nan probably made him a Stark with the same name to scare children embellish the story, this has fans wondering how the legend of the Night’s King ties in with Bran’s current storyline.  Continue reading “Crowned White Walker From Last Week’s ‘Game of Thrones’ Was Once a Stark Named Bran?”

Trailer: Game of Thrones Season 4

I’m still not caught up on A Song Of Ice And Fire because I can’t hold pizza and a book at the same time like I can when I’m watching Thrones on a TV the size of one of the Khaleesi’s dragons in my living room, but fortunately for me and my fellow couch potatoes, the season 4 trailer is out and it looks as fantastic as ever.

Joffrey’s still a turd, Tyrion’s still cracking wise, and the queen has been reunited with her favorite sexual partner – literal blood of her blood, Jaime Lannister. The remaining Starks are still scattered throughout Westeros and Emilia Clarke’s eyebrows are inching that much closer to King’s Landing. WATCH!!

Tori Spelling’s Sex Tape Will Never Be Seen (Because There is a God?)

Some PEOPLE hate Tori Spelling for being the perfect mix between a goldfish and a horse, but not me. I hate, no, “dislike” Tori because she’s always managed to keep a fraction of herself in the spotlight even though she’s lacking in the… everything department. Daddy gave her a free ride, life skipped the lemons and handed her lemonade, etc.

Beauty is not exactly a talent, but if it was, it would certainly not be in Tori Spelling’s possession, and she never developed a good personality despite never having to hire a bodyguard to keep strangers from groping her ass (like Kim Kardashian).

She is neither beautiful nor talented, and the recent news of her sex tape alarmed me until I learned that it would [probably] never see the light of day. From Radar Online:

Dinosaur Erotica is a Thing

Dinosaur romance novelsLots of strange things are happening in the world today. The government shut down (as if they were ever doing work), someone got a tattoo of donkey-faced Miley Cyrus swinging from a sad-faced wrecking ball, and dinosaur erotica exists.

Author Christie Sims, who describes herself as an “everyday Midwestern girl” whose “inner thoughts are filled with lusty thoughts of big, strong, powerful monsters having their way with beautiful maidens,” has written multiple dino romance novels with titles ranging from the simple Ravished by Triceratops to the even simpler Mating With The Raptor.

Continue reading “Dinosaur Erotica is a Thing”

Real Housewife of New Jersey Wasn’t Advocating Rape

Melissa joe Gorga bikini I feel really out of the loop every time I read a story about the Real Housewives of wherever, like there’s this pop culture knowledge gap that will just never close because I refuse to let myself become addicted to this or World of Warcraft, but Melissa Gorga, one of the ones from Jersey, wrote a controversial passage in her new book, Love Italian Style, about how women just want to be turned around and penetrated at random times.

In her husband Joe’s words:

Men, I know you think your woman isn’t the type who wants to be taken. But trust me, she is. Every girl wants to get her hair pulled once in a while. If your wife says “no,” turn her around, and rip her clothes off. She wants to be dominated. Women don’t realize how easy men are. Just give us what we want.  Continue reading “Real Housewife of New Jersey Wasn’t Advocating Rape”

New Harry Potter Movie Featuring None of the Original Cast Okayed by Warner Bros.

newt scamander illustrationIf I were you ask you if a movie set “in the Harry Potter universe” but without Ron, Harry, Hermione, Snape, the Keebler Elf, Mary Poppins, Looney Toonbad and the gingersnap twins is still a Harry Potter movie, you’d say no, right?

Me too. But Warner Brothers have given the green light to an adaptation of Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them with a screenplay by the author, J.K. needs-no-introduction Rowling.

The film, which takes place in New York 70 years before Harry and friends, will feature magizoologist/author Newt Scamander.

“Although it will be set in the worldwide community of witches and wizards where I was so happy for seventeen years, ‘Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them’ is neither a prequel nor a sequel to the Harry Potter series, but an extension of the wizarding world,” Rowling said in a statement.

If you’re looking for a premise, Scamander had many adventures with winged and horned creatures between working at the Ministry of Magic and writing, eventually moving on to a prestigious job as headmaster of Hogwarts, according to Harry Potter Wiki.  Continue reading “New Harry Potter Movie Featuring None of the Original Cast Okayed by Warner Bros.”

J. K. Rowling Wrote a Crime Novel Under a Male Pseudonym

The cuckoo's calling coverIn April of this year, a first-time author named Robert Galbraith released a book called The Cuckoo’s Calling through Sphere, an imprint of Little, Brown that received rave reviews.

Turns out, the person behind Cuckoo’s Calling is not the debut of some former military official, as “his” bio suggested, but Britain’s favorite modern-day author, J.K. Rowling.

The mother of Harry Potter, Hermione, Ron, Dumbledore and so many other iconic wizards and witches confessed the truth after London’s Sunday Times received an anonymous tip about her pseudonym.

From The New York Times:

“I had hoped to keep this secret a little longer, because being Robert Galbraith has been such a liberating experience,” she said in a statement. “It has been wonderful to publish without hype or expectation, and pure pleasure to get feedback under a different name.”  Continue reading “J. K. Rowling Wrote a Crime Novel Under a Male Pseudonym”

Sorry HBO, the Book Version of the Iron Throne is SO MUCH Bigger and Badder

iron throne book drawing The third season of Game of Thrones may have just wrapped, but HBO and author George R.R. Martin have no plans of slowing down the series (except for that whole taking forever to write book 6 and 7 thing).

While Martin has always been involved in the wildly successful onscreen version, he recently took to his blog to express a bit of disappointment in the Iron Throne used in the show.

Martin said that while the HBO throne has a “terrific design” and is “iconic,” it just isn’t what he imagined. In fact, it’s at least six times smaller and way less full o’ swords. From Grrm.livejournal.com:

It’s not the Iron Throne I see when I’m working on THE WINDS OF WINTER. It’s not the Iron Throne I want my readers to see. The way the throne is described in the books… HUGE, hulking, black and twisted, with the steep iron stairs in front, the high seat from which the king looks DOWN on everyone in the court… my throne is a hunched beast looming over the throne room, ugly and assymetric…

Continue reading “Sorry HBO, the Book Version of the Iron Throne is SO MUCH Bigger and Badder”

Melissa Joan Hart Kissed Ryan Reynolds Because He Gave Her a Watch

Ryan Reynolds Sabrina the teenage witch Back when Melissa Joan Hart was 19, she filmed a Sabrina The Teenage Witch movie for Showtime that co-starred a less chiseled and more curly-haired 17-year-old Ryan Reynolds.

Joan Hart tells Chelsea Lately guest host Ross Matthews that Ryan, who had a “creepy scene” in the 1996 movie where he “practically” tried to rape her, gave her a fancy Beluga watch after a few weeks of hanging out, flirting and camping.

He like, threw this box at me and basically walked out of my dressing room, and I kind of stopped his car, it was very dramatic, she told Matthews. “I was in the headlights and I was like ‘Stop!’ ‘Cause I opened the box and it was like a Beluga watch, like a gorgeous watch … I stopped his car and I walked around the car and I wasn’t sure if I was going to get mad at him and I just grabbed him and started kissing him.”

“You get a piece of jewelry like that and you gotta make out with the guy,” she added. Continue reading “Melissa Joan Hart Kissed Ryan Reynolds Because He Gave Her a Watch”