Video: The Pretty Reckless – “Heaven Knows”

Interesting things are happening in pop music… Things that have nothing to do with Lady Gaga! Lily Allen wrote an entire song about it, but if you’re looking for the antithesis of Lorde, it’s Taylor Momsen.

She’s an entire year younger than Miley Cyrus, dirtier than Ke$ha and applies eyeliner with a paint roller. I feel the same way about her that some women do about sweaty James Franco selfies. It’s harder to admit that you sometimes find this person attractive than it is to masturbate to American Horror Story: Asylum.
   
This video for “Heaven Knows” is a few months old, but attention-grabbing. I mean, one second she’s harmonizing with a bunch of children and the next she’s ripping her clothes off…  Continue reading “Video: The Pretty Reckless – “Heaven Knows””

Emma Stone is the Nicki Minaj of Lip Syncing


Crazy adorable ginger (and only reason to ever step foot in a theater showing Amazing Spider-Man 2) Emma Stone decimated the competition over at The Tonight Show with her mouthed renditions of the equally challenging “Hook” by Blues Traveler and DJ Khaled’s “All I Do Is Win.”

Fallon’s dance moves didn’t stand a chance against Emma, whose lips and arms were moving so fast that audience members in the front row witnessed some of her freckles bouncing off her skin and into their laps.

I never thought I’d see John Popper and Ludacris proud on the same day…

’90s Icons Veruca Salt Reuniting for First Time in 19 Years

Louise Post Nina Gordon friendsGrunge era band Veruca Salt – known for the song “Seether” from their 1994 debut American Thighs – announced via their website that they will be touring with original members Nina Gordon (co-lead vocals guitar), Louise Post (vocals, guitar), Steve Lack (bass) and Jim Shapiro (drums) for the first time in nearly 20 years.

The Chicago-based band lost all their core members besides singer Louise Post between 1997 and 1998 after they had toured with big names like Hole and even appeared on Saturday Night Live. Most notably, Nina Gordon left to pursue a solo career and saw success with the single “Tonight and the Rest of My Life.”  Continue reading “’90s Icons Veruca Salt Reuniting for First Time in 19 Years”

Wonderful Actor Leonardo DiCaprio is a HORRIBLE Dancer

There are a few locations and events where you are guaranteed to see a celebrity, and one of them is Coachella…

This is probably because so many of them were probably conceived at music festivals, it’s like salmon coming home to spawn. People like Lindsay Lohan and Vanessa Hudgens swimming towards massive piles of MDMA to the tune of Zedd’s “Clarity.”

This year, famous folk with freshly bleached buttholes wore properly Bohemian getups to the desert to see the likes of Outkast, Skrillex and Lorde. A wise woman with a camera caught none other than Leonardo DiCaprio dancing to his personal ear poison of choice, MGMT, on Saturday and he may just be worse at dancing than John Travolta is at pronouncing names.

George Bernard Shaw once said, “Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire.” So that explains why Gisele left. And Bar Rafaeli. And Anne V. And that other lady…

Lorde, Kim Gordon and Joan Jett Fronted Nirvana, then Courtney Love Hugged Dave Grohl

Courtney Love Dave Grohl hug The Rock and Roll Induction proceeded on Thursday in Brooklyn and that band calling themselves Nirvana stole the show. The most surprising moment wasn’t when Lorde got awkward with “All Apologies” or that Annie Clark from St. Vincent was the best of the worst weirdest with her vocal rendition of “Lithium” (better than Joan Jett and Kim Gordon on “Smells Like Teen Spirit” and “Aneurysm”), it was when Courtney Love gave Dave Grohl a giant hug, thus (hopefully) squashing their horrendous feud.

Over the years, Love has sued Grohl (and Krist Novoselic) multiple times over copyright issues, called him an “asshole” and accusing him being ultra skeezy with Frances Bean, who was sadly absent from the ceremony and missed her mother’s heartwarming moment of sanity.

Continue reading “Lorde, Kim Gordon and Joan Jett Fronted Nirvana, then Courtney Love Hugged Dave Grohl”

Joan Jett: Kurt Cobain For a Day?

Joan Jett, Dave GrohlA photo of Joan Jett’s guitar next to Dave Grohl’s posted to the Foo Fighters Instagram indicates that the queen of rock ‘n roll will be performing with the remaining members of Nirvana tomorrow at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame induction.

I love how Dave Grohl trolls us with a potential plethora of Kurt Cobain “replacements.” An old guy and now a woman? I love her but OMG, what’s next? The screaming Taylor Swift goat? Taylor Swift herself? Maybe an actual rock with a chalk face and glued-on hair?

God help us. I hope they won’t be throwing any blasphemous “new material” at us. (I much prefer Joan as the lead singer of Evil Stig as a memorial, fundraiser and tribute to and for Mia Zapata of The Gits.)

Kiss, Peter Gabriel, Cat Stevens, Hall & Oates are among the other inductees at the ceremony.

Peaches Geldof, Daughter of Rockstar Bob Geldof, Dead at 25

Peaches geldof party
Peaches Geldof, notorious British socialite and daughter of Boomtown Rats singer, solo artist and Live Aid founder Bob Geldof, was found dead in her home this afternoon at the age of 25.

A police spokesperson called her passing “unexplained and sudden,” stating that they are still working to “establish the circumstances surrounding the death.”
Peaches Geldof
Bob Geldof (most famous for the song “I Don’t Like Mondays”) addressed the heartbreaking loss:

We are beyond pain. She was the wildest, funniest, cleverest, wittiest and the most bonkers of all of us. Writing ‘was’ destroys me afresh. What a beautiful child. How is this possible that we will not see her again? How is that bearable?”

Continue reading “Peaches Geldof, Daughter of Rockstar Bob Geldof, Dead at 25”

Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin are Officially Done

Uh oh. Gwyneth Paltrow finally realized how bad Chris Martin’s music is…

Paltrow wrote on her newsletter website that they’ve decided to separate after 11 years of marriage, therapy (I assume) and two biblical/fruit-themed babies.

“We have been working hard for well over a year, some of it together, some of it separated, to see what might have been possible between us, and we have come to the conclusion that while we love each other very much we will remain separate,” Paltrow wrote.

“We are, however, and always will be a family, and in many ways we are closer than we have ever been” she continued. “We are parents first and foremost, to two incredibly wonderful children and we ask for their and our space and privacy to be respected at this difficult time.”

Continue reading “Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin are Officially Done”

Two Shirtless Chili Peppers, Manning Memes and Other Super Bowl Revelations

Bruno Mars Red hot chili peppersBruno Mars’ highly energetic albeit short Super Bowl performance silenced critics on Sunday and was definitely the best, most memorable thing to come from the event.

There were bets on how many Peppers would be wearing shirts, and you’d be absolutely frankentarded to not guess two, seeing as Anthony and Flea are as likely to be shirtless as Peyton Manning is to be as stiff in the passing pocket as a corpse that overdosed on Viagra.

A map showing who was rooting for who during the big game has surfaced, showing that a staggering majority of Americans (besides in Oregon, Washington and Alaska) were crying disappointed tears into their hot wings, pizza and beer last night.  Continue reading “Two Shirtless Chili Peppers, Manning Memes and Other Super Bowl Revelations”

Best Pop, Rock, Rap and Indie Albums of 2013

Halcyon Days, Ellie Goulding

Key tracks: “Burn,” “Under Control,” “How Long Will I Love You,” “Midas Touch,” “Flashlight” feat. DJ Fresh

Pure Heroine, Lorde

Key tracks: “Royals,” “Team,” “White Teeth Teens,” “Tennis Court”

Heartthrob, Tegan and Sara

Key tracks: “Closer,” “I Was A Fool,” “I Couldn’t Be Your Friend,” “Goodbye, Goodbye”

Cupid Deluxe, Blood Orange

Key tracks: “You’re Not Good Enough,” “Always Let U Down,” “It Is What It Is,” “Chosen”

Ciara, Ciara

Key tracks: “I’m Out” feat. Nicki Minaj, “Read My Lips,” “Backseat Love”

Days Are Gone, Haim

Key tracks: “Don’t Save Me,” “Falling,” “Forever”

Lightning Bolt, Pearl Jam

Key tracks: “Getaway,” “Lightning Bolt,” “My Father’s Son”

The 20/20 Experience, Justin Timberlake

Key Tracks: “Mirrors,” “Suit & Tie” feat. Jay-Z, “Body Count,” “TKO”

The Bones Of What You Believe, Chvrches

Key tracks: “Recover,” “The Mother We Share,” “Gun”

Long. Live. A$AP, A$AP Rocky

Key tracks: “1 Train” feat. Kendrick Lamar, Yelawolf, & Big K.R.I.T, “Fashion Killa,” “Fuckin’ Problems” feat. Drake, 2 Chainz & Kendrick Lamar

Night Time, My Time, Sky Ferreira

Key tracks: “Nobody Asked Me If I Was Okay,” “Boys,” “I Blame Myself”

Free The Universe, Major Lazer

Key tracks: “You’re No Good” feat. Santigold, Danielle Haim & Yasmin, “Get Free” feat. Amber Coffman, “Scare Me” feat. Peaches & Timberlee, “Bubble Butt” feat. Bruno Mars, Tyga & Mystic

Bitter Rivals, Sleigh Bells

Key tracks: “You Don’t Get Me Twice,” “Bitter Rivals,” “Love Sick”

Trouble, Natalia Kills

Key Tracks: “Problem,” “Saturday Night,” “Stop Me”

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Honorable mentions: Don’t Look Down, Skylar Grey, Nothing Was The Same, Drake, Beyoncé, Beyoncé, Weekend, The Sounds, My Name Is My Name, Pusha T, Yeezus, Kanye West, Delta Machine, Depeche Mode, The Marshall Mathers LP 2, Eminem



30 Seconds To Mars Recruit Lindsay Lohan, Kanye and More for ‘City of Angels’


Jared Leto and Thirty Seconds To Mars continue their streak of lengthy, cheesy, over-the-top videos with “City of Angels,” which begins with testaments to the beauty and destruction of L.A. by celebrities.

Cameos include Kanye West, Olivia Wilde, Corey Feldman, Selena Gomez, Juliette Lewis, James Franco, Ashley Olsen, Lily Collins, Alan Cumming, Lindsay Lohan, Shaun White, a porn star, two impersonators (Michael Jackson and Marilyn Monroe) and the late Christopher Reeve.  Continue reading “30 Seconds To Mars Recruit Lindsay Lohan, Kanye and More for ‘City of Angels’”

If You Only Read Two Tributes To Lou Reed…

Lou Reed black and whiteA hoard of celebrities, some of whom knew the late rock legend Lou Reed, who passed away on Sunday in Long Island after battling liver disease, and some who didn’t, have tweeted and blogged kind words acknowledging his legacy.

Out of all those words, including some by Morrissey, David Bowie and Reed’s bandmate, The Velvet Underground co-founder John Cale, the ones written by Metric’s Emily Haines and journalist Legs McNeil (Please Kill Me: The Uncensored Oral History of Punk) touched me most.

“The first time I sang ‘Perfect Day’ for him, Lou said, ‘You have to bring more pain to it. You’re not singing about a fucking picnic,'” Haines, who collaborated with Reed on her latest albumwrote in a piece featured on Rolling Stone.

“In his last message to me, Lou wrote, ‘I’m so sorry Emily I would’ve if I could have but I’m a little under the weather but I love you,” she concluded in reference to a cancelled duet at Coachella.  Continue reading “If You Only Read Two Tributes To Lou Reed…”

Funny Video: Mean Tweets, Music Edition

In the latest edition of celebrities reading mean tweets about themselves, Ke$ha is a crack whore, Pharrell looks like a sewer rat, 2 Chainz is Whoopi Goldberg and Lil’ Wayne is a crabapple. Awesome.

Also, Jared Leto totally licked his lips a little when he read the word “dick.”

WATCH: Lip Sync Battle W/ Joseph Gordon-Levitt

Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Jimmy Fallon and Stephen Merchant (of The Office and Extras fame) smother us with a pillow of cuteness in a new video courtesy of NBC’s Late Night.

It doesn’t matter if you care about lip syncing. In terms of musical fakery, this will make you like it the way Air Guitar Nation made you like a half-naked Asian dude with a front-facing Hello Kitty backpack.

JGL wins hands down with his adorably exact and theatrical dub of “Super Bass” by Nicki Minaj.

Terry Crews Plays Major Lazer in “Scare Me” Video

Terry Crews major lazer 1Terry Crews has just completed the most important role of his film career. At least in my opinion. And the opinion of any Major Lazer fan.

The NFL player-turned-actor appears in the trio’s new video for “Scare Me,” off their new album released earlier this year, playing none other than the Major himself. In the video, he’s tasked with saving the world from an evil warlord who’s gotten his hands on a powerful “terror lazer.”

So it’s Major Lazer, using a major lazer (among other things) to fight off a man with another, more powerful major lazer. I wish there was a way to watch this battle live. And on acid.

A few other familiar faces made it into the video, including Workaholics’ Blake Andersen and The League’s Nick Kroll, who utters by far the most powerful line in the video: “Awaken the Major.”  Continue reading “Terry Crews Plays Major Lazer in “Scare Me” Video”

FRED ARMISEN BEHIND A TREE

Fred Armisen yeah yeah yeahs behind a tree Portland You see the man in the nondescript, green jacket with folded arms standing behind a tree and familiar Pacific Northwestern grey sky? That’s Fred Armisen, of  Portlandia, watching Har Mar Superstar open for the Yeah Yeah Yeahs.

My friend and I spotted the Saturday Night Live alumn in the far back, enjoying the show and posing for pictures with everyone that walked by, looked at him, and made that priceless “Oh shit” face of awe, happiness and surprise you make when you see Fred Armisen standing behind a tree like the normal person that he is.

For a while we just watched him and felt bad that he couldn’t enjoy himself, eventually speculating that maybe he was one of those tragically lonely celebrities who finds solace in talking to strangers who recognize him. After a 20-minute discussion, we did what any two assholes would and demanded a picture with him.  Continue reading “FRED ARMISEN BEHIND A TREE”

Video: Panic! At The Disco – “This is Gospel”

Panic! At The Disco are back and still a thing and releasing second singles (the first being “Miss Jackson”) from an album (Too Weird to Live, Too Rare to Die!) that I’ve never heard of that is a followup to another CD (Vices & Virtues) from 2011 that I also never heard of…

In the “This is Gospel” video, lead vaudeville enthusiast Brendon Urie predictably yells at things. Said things being orderlies and the yelling mainly consisting of the line “If you love me, let me go.” Sad.

Him and Pete Wentz are one cross, a wig and a few sedatives from being Hayley Williams and Taylor Momsen anyway, so why not just listen to Paramore or The Pretty Reckless? Oh right, nostalgia…
Brendon Urie this is gospel hospital
It’s just that after I drove all the way to Seattle to see them and Fall Out Boy and they cancelled I thought I was over it. Then I bought tickets for my friend’s birthday a year later for way, way too much (you don’t want to know) because it was sold out and they changed the venue and released new tickets for like $30 and I decided, yeah, this is fun but I’m definitely over it. #PanicPhase  Continue reading “Video: Panic! At The Disco – “This is Gospel””