Sorry Jenna Dewan, But Channing Tatum is the White Devil

channing tatum albino In the upcoming Wachowski Brothers’ flick, Jupiter Ascending, due summer of 2014 (because it’s sci-fi and sci-fi takes foreverrrr *cough* *cough* Avatar *cough* Prometheus), our boy Channing Tatum plays a knee pad-wearing assassin cross between a wolf and a human who also happens to be an albino…

This is the only time I’m ever going to bring up The Matrix Reloaded, ever, but if you remember, the Wachowskis utilized a set of 50% bald white Stevie Wonder lookin’ motherfuckers in that too, which had me wondering….

Why are there more albinos in the future? Does that mean there’s hope for me?

Also, is there hope for this movie, or Jenna Dewan if he still looks like that in the bedroom during filming?

Ashton Kutcher Was The Albino From ‘Powder’ In High School posted vintage photos of the Two And A Half Men cast yesterday and one stood out tremendously from the mostly ordinary pictures of Jon Cryer as Ducky and the like…

A bald, pale and apparently screeching Ashton Kutcher, from his high school days at Clear Creek-Amana in Iowa.

I don’t know if he was on the swim team or what, but he’s bald and terrifying and looks EXACTLY like the albino from Powder.

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