Pre-Teen Metal Fan Scares the Crap Out of Heidi Klum and Mel B.

little metal girl america's got talentWhat’s better than a six-year-old girl singing an original song called “Zombie Skin” on national television? Almost nothing.

Except maybe a six-year-old girl looking all cute and innocent and then scaring the blonde German crap out of Heidi Klum and Scary Spice with her original song called “Zombie Skin” as Howard Stern throws up the the horns as if he were at a Metallica concert.

That’s exactly what happened on Tuesday’s episode of America’s Got Talent when tiny Aaralyn and her 9-year-old brother took the stage.

Pretty much the best thing ever when she started singing and Mel B. was all like:  Continue reading “Pre-Teen Metal Fan Scares the Crap Out of Heidi Klum and Mel B.”

Comedian Melinda Hill Gets No Laughs On ‘America’s Got Talent,’ Performed Same Jokes On Ferguson Four Years Ago (With Laughs)

I don’t agree with the use of the word “talent” in the title “America’s Got Talent,” let alone America’s opinion or the judges. Usually I agree with Howard Stern, except in the case of comedian Melinda Hill, who bombed horribly on Tuesday’s YouTube auditions.

When I say bombed I mean that the crowd was more silent than if Daniel Tosh performed at a charity for RAINN.

The judges critique was along the lines of her needing different material. But it was also mentioned that her videos on YouTube were much funnier than her set on AGT.

I researched these supposedly hilarious videos (I already liked her jokes on America’s Got Talent) and found that she was on The Late Late Show with very similar material, getting laughs.  Continue reading “Comedian Melinda Hill Gets No Laughs On ‘America’s Got Talent,’ Performed Same Jokes On Ferguson Four Years Ago (With Laughs)”

Sharon Leaving AGT Because NBC’s ‘Stars Earn Stripes’ Rejected Jack Osbourne

Sharon Osbourne was suspected to be leaving NBC America’s Got Talent last week after she tweeted to fellow judge Howard Stern “My darling @HowardStern, money is not the reason I’m not returning to @nbcagt, it’s because…”

Well, now we know the “because.”

The celebrity military competition show Stars Earn Stripes, also on NBC, turned down her son Jack because the “rigors of the show were too intense for him,” (because of his multiple sclerosis) according to the producer.

“I just can’t be fake, It’s discrimination, and it was badly handled,” she told the NY Post. “It’s time to move one. They can’t make me do something I don’t want to do, all they can do is stop me from being a judge on another network for five years.”  Continue reading “Sharon Leaving AGT Because NBC’s ‘Stars Earn Stripes’ Rejected Jack Osbourne”

I Take It Back, I CAN’T Watch ‘America’s Got Talent’

For months I’ve been anticipating America’s Got Talent specifically for Howard Stern. Apparently, I forgot one very important thing, that show SUCKS beyond belief. Not even Stern can save it.

I recorded all 120 minutes of it on my DVR yesterday night along with my usual programming and watched less than half of it. I already had some kind of ginger sun headache and dehydration from drinking a Mike’s Hard Lemonade so my patience was diminished.

Wimp ailments or not, I couldn’t stay interested. The camera work, editing and audience noise is intolerable plus the “talent” is non-existant. A stripper magician, lady who sings covered in cockatiels, and usual American Idol-style fuck ups don’t cut it.  Continue reading “I Take It Back, I CAN’T Watch ‘America’s Got Talent’”

Howard Stern Is Coming To ‘America’s Got Talent!’

I LOVE Howard Stern, what I don’t love is America’s Got Talent, but will I watch it now that he’s been confirmed as a judge? H-E double hockey sticks yeah I will.

Yesterday Stern was announced as the replacement for Piers Morgan (Zzz) after rumors swirled for over a month about the possible deal ($20 Million dollars for a year?) with NBC and the King Of All Media.

Producers of AGT are even willing to move the entire show to New York so Howard can continue his radio show on Sirius. Of course, the sore bores at the Parents Television Council are angered by all of this.

They told TMZ that Howard Stern is “a performer who is synonymous with shock, profanity and obscenity.”

Continue reading “Howard Stern Is Coming To ‘America’s Got Talent!’”

Rebecca Black FRIDAY FRIDAY FRIDAY On America’s Got Talent

Actually it was Wednesday Wednesday Wednesday, but you know, that song only applies to the one day sooo, I guess she can’t only perform it on Fridays, though I’m sure most people would hope she would, if at all.

I don’t want to bully the poor girl, since she recently left High School after being harassed by classmates. I love this song. I sing it every Friday because Friday is the day I eat pizza.

PIZZA FRIDAY FRIDAY FRIDAY

Gotta be fresh, gotta go downstairs
Gotta have my bowl, gotta have cereal (and pizza)

Look man, don’t look at this song as a song, look at it as an SNL skit or a jingle for some sort of weekend sale on tampons. Makes it better huh? Friday Friday Friday, shark week approaching, gotta plug myself, gotta go downstairs, flush the OB. It’s Friday Friday Friday.