Kobe and Vanessa Bryant Announce Their Reconciliation, Because… Why Not?

Vanessa Bryant InstagramPeople have long suspected that something fishy was going on with Kobe Bryant and Vanessa Bryant, who filed for divorce in 2011 citing irreconcilable adultery (I mean “differences”).

After spending time kissing at Staples Center and eating steak together, the couple have officially announced the end of their divorce proceedings and the beginning of, nothing important.

“We are pleased to announce that we have reconciled,” Vanessa posted in Instagram text-to-photo format. “Our divorce action will be dismissed. We are looking forward to our future together.”

Continue reading “Kobe and Vanessa Bryant Announce Their Reconciliation, Because… Why Not?”

Donald Trump Offers Obama $5 Million To Release Misc. Records

Wannabe politician and actual reality star Donald Trump is still obsessed with Barack Obama‘s past and history as some sort anti-American terrorist.

On October 24, after multiple guesses from the media about a new, big Trump announcement including one about Barack and Michelle divorce papers, he revealed the “surprise” that was somehow intended to shake up the election.

Trump is offering $5 million dollars to the charity of Obama’s choosing, if he agrees to release his college and passport records.  Continue reading “Donald Trump Offers Obama $5 Million To Release Misc. Records”

Don’t Call Lady Gaga’s ‘ARTPOP’ An Album, It’s A ‘Multimedia Experience’

Lady Gaga made a big announcement about her second full-length album ARTPOP on her website Wednesday

Turns out, ARTPOP is going to be more than just an album.

It will be an app for your iPad, iPhone, Android, and computer which will allow fans to chat with each other about Lady Gaga and her music, play games, and receive “important” updates from Mother Monster herself.

“Im excited to tell you all that ARTPOP is going to be a multimedia experience that comes in different forms,” Gaga writes.

I think this is especially confusing because everyone already thought her new immersive social media platform (LittleMonsters.com) had satisfied the narcissistic attention-craving artist within.  Continue reading “Don’t Call Lady Gaga’s ‘ARTPOP’ An Album, It’s A ‘Multimedia Experience’”

The Elder Scrolls MMO And Why You Might Never See Your Spouse Again

ZeniMax and Bethesda have announced plans for an Elder Scrolls MMO (massively multiplayer online game) with a release date sometime in 2013. Screenshots and a teaser trailer have already hit the viral internerd highway.

Here’s why you might never see your spouse again. If you don’t live under a rock, you know that the Elder Scrolls series reached new heights of popularity with its fifth installment, Skyrim.

If you thought that was bad, wait until there’s no ending to the game, which is exactly what an MMO is. A neverending addiction that sucks you in using the basic human gluttony instinct.  Continue reading “The Elder Scrolls MMO And Why You Might Never See Your Spouse Again”

Jessica Simpson’s Baby News Upstaged By Kim Kardashian

Did you hear that Jessica Simpson confirmed her completely obvious pregnancy the other day? On Halloween?

Of course not, because Kim Kardashian got divorced that day. Bad news always trumps good news in the celebrity world.

It has Ms. Simpson wondering, “Is this a baby, what I have here?” (In tuna-confusion-voice)

No two million dollars for a People magazine spread covering the announcement, Jess gave her approval to Yahoo’s Omg! along with a picture that was already on her website, where she had originally written, “It’s true! I am going to be a mummy!”

Continue reading “Jessica Simpson’s Baby News Upstaged By Kim Kardashian”

Dancing With The “Stars” 2011 Cast

Today the supposed cast of ABC’s Dancing With The Stars was leaked to the public. I don’t watch the show, because the dancing isn’t quite bad enough (or good enough) to hold my attention.

I’d rather just see a bunch of youths doing backflips on America’s Best Dance Crew, because if I watch Dancing With The Stars I will be reminded of age, and nationwide embarrassment.

Light drumroll… the season 13 cast consists of:

Nancy Grace (Ohh I forgot to put HER on my witches slideshow!)
Ricki Lake (Y
ou was hot when? Ricki Lake. ((Nicki Minaj lyrics)
Ron Artest
(Nickname “Metta World Peace”)
Chaz Bono
(Cher’s son, neck-beard included)
David Arquette
(Screaming like Rocky, “Courtneyyy!!” Instead of “Adriann!”)
Kristin Cavalleri
(Her handbag is HUGE)
Rob Kardashian
(Wishes he wasn’t a Kardashian so he could fuck his sisters)
Continue reading “Dancing With The “Stars” 2011 Cast”

Beyonce Is Prego

Today Beyonce officially announced that she is in fact pregnant. She reportedly pointed and cupped her belly at the VMA Pre-Show AND before her performance of “Love On Top” she said,

“I want you to feel the love that’s growing inside me.”  (creepy)

Jay-Z And Kanye jumped all over the place… And later her agent confirmed the pregnancy to reporters.

This is her and Jay-Z’s first baby together. They were abruptly married in 2008 and have since led very normal lives as a duo, as normal as two of the biggest names in the industry can.

Rumors of Jay-Z’s infidelity have surfaced earlier this summer, somebody named Vashtie Kola claimed she was going to steal Jay away from Mrs. Beyonce Knowles. Sounds like an empty threat to me…

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Lil’ Wayne’s Tha Carter IV, Drops August 29th at 12 AM

August 29, 2011, the day after the VMAs, at midnight, is the official release date for the much anticipated Lil’ Wayne album Tha Carter IV. Tha Carter IV, which was delayed by Weezy’s eight month stint in jail, will be available digitally after the MTV Video Music Awards, which he is also slated to perform at.

Lil’ Wayne, a notorious workaholic, has been extra busy lately, he released a mixtape on July 13th humorously titled Sorry 4 The Wait (In reference to Tha Carter 4/IVAND he’s officially announced a collaboration album with fellow Cash/Young Money signee Drake.

He said in a press statement on his surprise album release,

“I am extremely excited to be the first artist to utilize such an amazing idea. I hope that I can open the door for others.”

Continue reading “Lil’ Wayne’s Tha Carter IV, Drops August 29th at 12 AM”