Pauly D’s Sperm Count Apparently Not Affected by Hair Gel Toxins

pauly d hair gel french fry hairPauly D, second most well-known male cast member of Jersey Shore, is reportedly seeking custody of a lovechild he created during one of his many stints as a DJ in Vegas.

The now five-month-old baby was conceived with 25-year-old Amanda Markert, a fun-loving college student who formerly made a living peddling her dusty jugs across the wasteland known as Atlantic City.

It’s super shocking to hear that he not only wants custody of a potentially life-ruining applesauce guzzler, but that the booze, hair gel and tanning bed radiation didn’t stunt his swimmers.

I guess if Snooki can beat the odds and not incur damage to her eggs via electricity zapped through her Everest-sized poof, why can’t he? From Hollywood Life:

Pauly doesn’t think that the 25-year-old mother of his child, Amanda, is a fit mother because she used to work at Hooters and has another child, according to TMZ.

The two have reportedly filed dueling court docs because Pauly wants custody of his ADORABLE baby daughter, since he allegedly hasn’t physically seen the child yet. Amanda wants child support, even though Pauly is requesting custody — which may be a good thing, since Amanda took a picture of Amabella in a high chair that was covered in $100 bills.

Hey, Mr. D, Are you sure you got a legit paternity test? Because that churren totally has an afro.
Amanda Markert Dj Pauly d baby mamaPauly D lovechildamanda markert pauly d instagram
Read: Amanda Markert: 5 Things To Know About Pauly D’s Baby’s Mother

Simon Cowell Impregnated The Woman He Sometimes Ogles

Simon Cowell Lauren Silverman boat
Idol/Britain’s Got Talent/X-Factor judge Simon Cowell knocked up his friend’s wife, this kind of Demi Moore-looking woman that he likes to look at through binoculars even though she’s sitting right in front of him.

The baby mama, Lauren Silverman, is being compared to Blake Lively’s character on Gossip Girl because she’s a New York socialite. According to sources, she used his penis to wipe her tears after becoming estranged from her husband, Simon’s past-tense friend. (Who’s the third wheel now, bitch?)  Continue reading “Simon Cowell Impregnated The Woman He Sometimes Ogles”

Justin Bieber Made a Half-Canadian, Half-Euro Baby in 2010

Justin Bieber Eiffel TowerJustin Bieber has a new baby mama, except this one is better/more scandalous because she’s older, from a different country and claims Justin was 15 (instead of 16) when she slept with him. Like baby mama #1, Mariah Yeater, the new woman makes Justin out be the predator even though the state he supposedly diddled her in has pretty strict statutory rape laws.

The 25-year-old European floozy says she met JB in Miami Beach, FL in 2010 during his My World tour. The night allegedly began with sexy Mozzarella Sticks at TGI Friday’s and ended with some rawdogging at at The Perry South Beach Hotel (formerly known as the Gansevoort).

Here she is, two and a half years later, sitting with her screaming toddler daughter seeking fame and fortune (which confuses me, because she refuses to identify herself).  Continue reading “Justin Bieber Made a Half-Canadian, Half-Euro Baby in 2010”

Terrell Owens Is BROKE, Bank Account Drained By Bloodthirsty Baby Mamas

Terrell Owens is looking to lessen his many child support fees due to the fact that he has absolutely no money coming in.

According to documents obtained by TMZ, Owens owes the following amounts:

To Kimberly Floyd, the mother of his 7 year-old daughter, he currently pays $15,000 a month.

To Monique Reynolds, the mother to his 12 year-old son, Terique. He once gave her $100,000 to help buy a house, and owes her $11,202 dollars a year. That amount was nearly twice that amount, until last year.

Continue reading “Terrell Owens Is BROKE, Bank Account Drained By Bloodthirsty Baby Mamas”

‘I Had Justin Bieber’s Baby’ Oh Wait, That’s Statutory Rape

Mariah Yeater, the 20 year-old woman who claims that Justin Bieber impregnated her backstage at the Staples Center after one of his concerts may have forgotten one key element to her story. Bieber was underage (16) at the time the supposed 30-second event occurred.

Yeater, 19, at the time, demands a paternity test and $12,000 a month in child support if JB is the proven baby daddy of her son, who was born in July. Check out the coconut huevos on this lady! Let’s summarize.

She’s demanding money from one of the youngest and most recognized pop singers of 2011, saying that she took his virginity at a concert and that he didn’t wear a condom because “he wanted to feel everything.”AND, she doesn’t give a crap that Justin was 16 at the time of the alleged sexual rendezvous!

In the words of Beavis And Butt-Head, THIS LADY RULES. One of her lawyers, Matthew Pare, says:

Continue reading “‘I Had Justin Bieber’s Baby’ Oh Wait, That’s Statutory Rape”