Hopelessly Human Black Widow Returns May 2015

Scarlett Johansson recently said that she’s “too sexy” for many of the roles that she wants and deserves, specifically The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo (she would literally have been the worst Lisbeth Salander ever).

Her comments are only a little less laughable than the fact that Black Widow killed about three aliens hellbent on destroying the world in the final scene of The Avengers, as opposed to the several hundred her cohorts pwned.

Somebody needs to tell her that Beyonce and many others have already complained of overhyped sexiness (lookup Brazilian band Cansei de Ser Sexy) and that the majority of ugly Americans don’t want to hear about it.  Continue reading “Hopelessly Human Black Widow Returns May 2015”

Scarlett Johansson As Useless Black Widow (Avengers Trailer)

I went from liking Scarlett Johansson in movies like Ghost World, to hating her, then Woody Allen convinced me that I loved her and now I’m pretty sure – I can’t stand her.

In interviews she’s vapid and sugary, and in movies, well, she almost always plays the same person. Some confused girl with a far-away look in her eye. But perhaps that IS Scarlett. I don’t know…

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Iron Man Punched ScarJo With Metal Fist Of Reality

Reportedly (means I have no clue if this is true or not) Robert Downey Jr. punched Scarlett Johansson on the set of the new Avengers movie, because he pushed the wrong button in his Iron Man suit.

A “source” (still dunno if it’s true) says:

“Robert triggered a switch that controls one of his arms and it suddenly jerked backward and whacked poor Scarlett. Knocked silly, she staggered backward, then lost her balance and fell off the low platform they were standing on.”

At LEAST now we know who’d win in a fight between Iron Man and Black Widow. Oh wait, I already knew…

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