Take Your Butter Money and Run, Girl: Paula Deen Fired From Food Network

Paula Deen apology videoPaula Deen, Mistress of Carbs, maker of delicious, oozing vodka-soaked chicken with chocolate sauce and essence of Hostess Twinkies, has been terminated by the Food Network after she attempted to apologize (twice) for casually admitting that she uses the n-word.

Before telling the public they’d chosen not to renew her contract, the Food Network issued a statement assuring everyone that they do not tolerate bigotry no matter how delicious the bigot’s food is.

“Food Network does not tolerate any form of discrimination and is a strong proponent of diversity and inclusion. We will continue to monitor the situation,” they clarified.

Mrs. Deen and her people scrambled all day to set it right, booking an appearance on the Today Show that was eventually cancelled in favor of a second apology video (first HERE).

Clumps of mascara circled her eyes like helicopters behind Snoop Dogg’s house as her tears [and the tears of her fans] soaked into the ground and gave all the worms and moles severe chest pains and a sudden shooting pain in their arm.  CLICK to watch the video…

Paula Deen Responds To Hateful Hating Diabetes Haters Who Hate Her

Paula Deen talked to both People and AP about the public’s reaction to her being diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes, mentioning “hate” both times.

To People: “I was surprised by the depth of hate, this is not something I chose. I had been given lemons and I had to try to make lemonade – without sugar!”

To Associated Press: “I think a few people who have access to a TV camera and ink kind of wanted to hate on me for coming down with something.”

I would never diss on Paula for having diabetes. I myself fear that I will one day contract it after touching one of my many pet bags of sugar.

When I first read that people were hating on her I thought she was saying it was because she was skinnier now (she’s lost 30 pounds, her goal is 45) and I’m angry because ‘Don’t Hate Me Because I’m Not Fat’ is a better title.  Continue reading “Paula Deen Responds To Hateful Hating Diabetes Haters Who Hate Her”

Massive Butter Shortage In Norway And Denmark

Though I think the issue may be resolved by now (any Scandinavians want to inform me?) there was a huge shortage of butter in both Norway in Denmark around Thanksgiving time last year.

How did this happen? Something about the country still exporting delicious yellow bricks of fat during the shortage, plus heavy rains and cows not grazing properly leading to poor milk production.

The demand was so high that many people from surrounding countries like Sweden were arrested for smuggling. At one point two men were detained for trying to sneak 550 pounds of it into Norway to sell on the black market at skyrocketed prices.  Continue reading “Massive Butter Shortage In Norway And Denmark”