Keira Knightley WEDDING DETAILS: Tents, Chanel, And An Old Renault

Keira Knightley wedding dressKeira Knightley got married today to her keyboardist husband James Righton (as in, “Right on James, you married the British version of Natalie Portman”) in the South of France. This is a big deal to me because I have tricked myself into thinking I discovered Keira when she was in Bend It Like Beckham. All I remember saying in 2002 besides “Kill me, I’m still in high school” had to do with that movie.

Blah blah blah soccer movie. David Beckham. India. Girl with short hair. Guru Nanak.

In 2003 I switched to “Did you see that girl from Bend It Like Beckham in Pirates of the Caribbean yet???”

Blah blah blah Johnny Depp. Rum. Elizabeth Swann. CLICK for gifs and stuff about her dress…

Hopefully Coco Chanel Would Have Been a Belieber…

Justin bieber chanel mask Justin Bieber‘s favorite thing besides pillow fights, facials (at the spa, pervs), convincing his fans they have a shot with him and throwing his tiny Borrower/Indian in the Cupboard arms at giants, is mask shopping.

Bieber has a wide assortment of the things, and while past favorites have including the harder gold and gas variety, his latest is a Chanel ski mask.

Writing “Channel” instead of “Chanel” seems forgivable considering what a hard time the kid has had lately with cough syrup, weed, car crashes, Selena Gomez, the paparazzi… OH WAIT, he’s a teenage billionaire. Nobody cares.

Brad Pitt Is Still Making Women Fall Out Of Love With Him In The Name Of Chanel

Seven million dollars and three teasers later and we are finally seeing Brad Pitt’s entire (31 second) Chanel No. 5 advertisement which consists of him being vague while looking like a pensive lesbian.

“Chanel No. 5… inevitable” says black and white Brad as he stares vacantly, probably wondering, like the rest of us, what these phrases and words mean or have to do with scented water.

Charlize Theron welcomely objectified herself for Dior. So what’s the deal with Brad wearing all these clothes?

Continue reading “Brad Pitt Is Still Making Women Fall Out Of Love With Him In The Name Of Chanel”

Chanel pays Brad Pitt $7 million dollars to cock tease women

What do you do with male sex symbols who have passed their sexual peak and reside in pussy-whipped village? Woman’s fragrance commercials. (see Timberlake for Givenchy)

In this series of short teasers, Brad asks “mysterious” questions like “What’s the mystery?” and “Are you going somewhere? … Where?”  Continue reading “Chanel pays Brad Pitt $7 million dollars to cock tease women”

Chanel Exec Karl Lagerfeld Insults Russian Men, Adele, Lana Del Rey & The First Lady

78 year-old Karl Lagerfeld, creative director and head designer for Chanel went on a tirade (with Metro news) that managed to backhandedly insult and compliment Lana Del Rey, pregnant chicks, Adele, all Russian men, the entire Greek and Italian nations plus Michelle Obama’s black ass.

The interview ends with the line, “Be politically correct, but don’t become a bore for that. People should be sensitive in these matters, but not make so much noise. Be politically correct, but do we have to know your opinion?” 

Lana Del Rey’s boobs: “In her photos she is beautiful. Is she a construct with all her implants? She’s not alone with implants.”

Adele’s weight: “The thing at the moment is Adele. She is a little too fat, but she has a beautiful face and a divine voice.” Continue reading “Chanel Exec Karl Lagerfeld Insults Russian Men, Adele, Lana Del Rey & The First Lady”