Rejoice! The Swiss Cheese Pervert is Behind Bars

Swiss cheese pervert mugshotLast weekend we heard about a 40-something man in Philadelphia who was terrorizing women by putting cheese on his penis, driving up to women and asking them to blow and/or handy j him.

This age old story with the added bonus of things we usually put on sandwiches came to a conclusion when Chris Pagano, nicknamed the “Swiss Cheese Pervert” by the press, was arrested this morning in Norristown.

Turns out, Pagano was also cuffed in 2009.


Monday: Court documents revealed that Pagano was arrested in 2009 after he allegedly “removed a large block of cheese from his pocket” and offered a woman on the street “$20 to rub the Swiss cheese on his penis.” Pagano pleaded guilty to disorderly conduct, and a solicitation charge against him was dismissed.  Continue reading “Rejoice! The Swiss Cheese Pervert is Behind Bars”

Patrick Stewart’s Life is Now Complete

Patrick Stewart PizzaPatrick Stewart has succeeded in stage and film acting in both England and America, hosted Saturday Night Live when Hartman and Farley were cast members, was knighted by the Queen in 2010, and is about to be happily married to 35-year-old New York-based jazz singer Sunny Ozell BUT he’s never tasted pizza, until today.

“My first ever pizza “slice”. Please note: the authentic NY fold,” he wrote on Twitter.

Even with P-Stew’s impressive life record and badassery as a captain of the Starship Enterprise and mind-melding leader of non-evil mutants (not to mention his voice work on American Dad), I do not believe that his life was complete before tasting sweet, sweet triangular sauce and cheese on bread.
The Last Exorcism pizza gif
That creepy bitch from The Last Exorcism and Part II: We Thought It Was Over knows what’s up.

Pizza Hut – From Hot Dogs To Cheeseburgers

Curse you Pizza Hut for withholding more exotic options from me and my fellow Americans!

First it was hot dog stuffed-crust in the UK and now in the Middle East it’s a ring of cheeseburgers circling a pile of beef and vegetables. From their website:

“Grilled mini cheeseburgers nestled in golden crown crusts. All in a pizza topped with beef, fresh tomato and lettuce, delightfully drizzled with Pizza Hut’s special sauce.”

Pizza Hut ME – with locations in Egypt, Jordan, Kuwait, Lebanon, Turkey, Pakistan, Saudi Arabia, UAE, Oman, Qatar and Bahrain – is also offering a chicken filet pizza as part of its Crown Crust Carnival.

Continue reading “Pizza Hut – From Hot Dogs To Cheeseburgers”