Khloe Kardashian Finally Filed For Divorce

We all predicted a Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom divorce as soon as we all heard they got married after only dating for one month, but we were wrong. The marriage lasted a good four years and didn’t end because they merely got sick of each other like so many other boring celebrity romances.

This one is officially ending after Lamar fell back into the arms of his old love, crack cocaine. Not to mention him driving down the wrong side of the road drunk and recording shirtless rap songs about cheating on Khloe. And of course, these are all things that were made painfully public, giving Khloe a handful of legitimate reasons to GTFO.

His eyes have been more glazed than Krispy Kreme since the loss of his NBA career (specifically with the Lakers) and I’m sure his dark past (drug-addicted father, mother died when he was 12) didn’t help.

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Lamar Odom Gets THREE YEARS OF PROBATION for Being an Irresponsible Drunk

Lamar Odom drivingRemember when Lamar Odom was arrested for driving in a slow but snakelike zig zag down the 101 under the influence of alcohol and God knows what else? (And by “God knows what else,” I mean crack.)

Well, on top of his license being revoked for most of 2014, he was just slapped with three whole years of probation for his little August joyride. This mostly due to Odom’s refusal to take a chemical test, which a California Highway Patrol officer told Radar is something “no one should ever do.”

Odom will also be forced to take an “alcohol education class,” because booze is bad mmkay.  Continue reading “Lamar Odom Gets THREE YEARS OF PROBATION for Being an Irresponsible Drunk”

Canadian Mayor Says He Has ‘More Than Enough’ P*ssy to Eat at Home

Rob Ford mayor wifeMarried trainwreck mayor of Toronto Rob Ford stood in front of a room full of press yesterday to deny a whole mess of things, including telling one of his staff members that he wanted to eat her out.

Ford, a notorious partier and admitted crack user said, “I’m happily married. I’ve got more than enough to eat at home. Thank you very much.”

This kind of thing would never fly in America, but if I had to compare his attitude to two people I’d go with Rex Ryan and Vladimir Putin. Amount of f*cks given: 0.0.

Lamar Odom Followed His Basketball Career, is Missing

Lamar Odom blue suit mtvAfter years of tabloids throwing random darts at the board, they finally landed one on Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom. Instead of an affair, it’s a drug problem.

It’s being reported that the former Lakers forward has been missing for the past two days and is on a suspected crack binge after the Kardashians attempted an intervention. God I hope Kanye wasn’t there. “Hey dog, I’m sorry you like drugs, but my new song “Bound 2″ is one of the best singles of all time! Download it if your hands aren’t shaking too bad, k?”

In 2011, Lamar spoke of the heroin addiction that plagued his father, Joe.

“I witnessed things that a 10-year-old definitely wasn’t supposed to see,” Odom said during an episode of Khloe and Lamar. “It’s hard for me to speak up on it and get it through to Khloe because she grew up so different.”

His mom died when he was 12, leaving him with the unstable father figure, so it’s pretty fucking impressive to me that he became a massive basketball star but sadly not terribly surprising that he turned to drugs.Here’s a video of him and his teammates discussing his other addiction, to sugar. As in, somebody slap those rocks out of his hand and replace them with some Pop Rocks already.  Continue reading “Lamar Odom Followed His Basketball Career, is Missing”

CBS Wants to Ruin Any Remaining Shred of Fun at The Grammys

Crazy grammy dresses 2Good thing Lil’ Kim and Trey Parker have no reason to be at The Grammys this year. An email sent by CBS Standards and Practices to attending celebrities lists all the things they’re not allowed to wear.

No-nos includes “thong type costumes,” “sheer see-through clothing” and “brand name products on T-shirts.” One-piece tuxedos and turtlenecks are okay.

Problematic (and favorite) language in the memo, which was reportedly leaked by a low-level staffer, would have to be the redundant references to “female breast nipples” and “buttock crack.”

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Pete Doherty: ‘Amy [Winehouse] And I Were Lovers’

Pete Doherty is opening up about his relationship with Amy Winehouse, telling an interviewer in Paris that they were in love (and late husband Blake Fielder wasn’t the only one she beat the crap out of).

“This is difficult for me to admit. But, yes, it’s true. Amy and I were lovers. I loved her then and, well, I still do today. But towards the end, as only lovers can, she became quite mean and cruel to me.”

“She didn’t suffer fools…and believe me, she had a mean right hook,” the Libertines frontman told the Daily Mail.

Modern-day Kurt and Courtney/Sid and Nancy were photographed together the most in 2008, and Pete recalls a meeting in 2010, so I’m setting a 2008-2010 timeline of on and off friendship/romance.  Continue reading “Pete Doherty: ‘Amy [Winehouse] And I Were Lovers’”

Sinead O’Connor Opens Up About Post-Wedding Crack Run

So, originally Sinead O’Connor said that her 16 day marriage ended because of her husband’s disapproving friends and family and because she took him on a slight wild goose chase looking for marijuana, which she said “enormously wounded” and “badly affected” him.

Yesterday she told The Sun that it was also crack cocaine that had a major part in her separation from Barry Herridge,

“We ended up in a cab in some place that was quite dangerous. I wasn’t scared – but he’s a drugs counselor. What was I thinking?” 

“Then I was handed a load of crack. Barry was very frightened – that kind of messed everything up a bit really.”

Really, Sinead? Your drug counselor husband who you hardly know and literally married minutes earlier was put off when you ended up with a bag of crack rocks in your hand? The nerve! Usually when you hear of a completely unknown person hooking up with a celeb your gold digger alert goes off. If he was digging for gold, which I doubt, then he found John Carpenter’s The Thing, Ridley Scott’s Alien and Tobe Hooper’s Leatherface instead…

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Darrell Hammond Reveals Crack Addiction During SNL Years, In Memoir

Former Saturday Night Live alumni and genius Clinton/Connery/Trump impersonator Darrell Hammond has written a book called “God, If You’re Not Up There, I’m Fucked: Tales of Stand-Up, ‘Saturday Night Live’ and Other Mind-Altering Mayhem.”

In said book, due November 8th, Hammond let out many sordid and surprising details. Everything from alcoholism, to crack/cocaine addiction to self-injury.

“I kept a pint of Remy in my desk at work, the drinking calmed my nerves and quieted the disturbing images that sprang into my head…when drinking didn’t work, I cut myself.”

He indicates that the problems stemmed from his relationship with his mother. He told CNN:

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