Wanda Sykes and I Miss the Old Beyonce


Wanda Sykes was on Watch What Happens a few Tuesdays ago to air her grievances about the “new” Beyonce. You know, the one who left her man-hating Destiny’s Child sisters in the dust in favor of solo man-worship and a baby suspiciously named after an invasive weed.

My favorite comedian is specifically disturbed by the thought of Jay-Z’s “ashy penis,” but I just miss Kelly and Michelle’s matching halter tops and synchronized hand waving.

Destiny’s Child had a formula and it worked every time… Dirty Beyonce is unpredictable.

Super Bowl 2013: Destiny’s Child Went On, The Power Went Out… The Ravens Won

Joe Flacco trophyFrom a blackout (which would’ve been the 49ers’ MVP if they’d won) that was either caused by Ray Lewis’ tears or Beyonce’s hairdryer, to a near San Francisco comeback, Super Bowl XLVII turned out to be pretty eventful.

Here’s a late breakdown:

I’m slightly ashamed to admit that a commercial featuring a baby Budweiser Clydesdale somehow made me cry more than Jennifer Hudson’s performance with 26 children from Sandy Hook elementary.

Alicia Keys (who should have switched with J-Hud) sat at her piano and gave us the jazzy low-risk version of the National Anthem.  Continue reading “Super Bowl 2013: Destiny’s Child Went On, The Power Went Out… The Ravens Won”

5 Things To Know About Super Bowl XLVII

ravens football headline 2012 super bowlSF Chronicle 49ers win 2013
Here’s the truth, I don’t know anything about the Super Bowl that a devout football fan doesn’t.

I can say that I predicted that the Ravens would beat the favorited Patriots in the AFC Championship, but really this is Super Bowl XLVII for dummies, girls and nerds. 101.

1. Harbaugh vs. Harbaugh

Harbaugh brothers Jim and John aren’t the first blood-relatives in coaching history. (Let’s not forget grease trains Rex and Rob Ryan and basketball’s Stan and Jeff Van Gundy.) Interestingly, they are the first brothers to coach against each other in the Super Bowl.  Continue reading “5 Things To Know About Super Bowl XLVII”