L.A. Shoppers Deprived of Plastic Bags, Riot Silently

Almost as sad as Mean Girls now being 10 years old (take some time to process that), a few random laws are effective immediately with the coming of the New Year. Laws such as the recreational use of sticky icky in Colorado (not so sad), and the ban of plastic bags in Los Angeles.

Like every wasteful, gluttony-rooted American, I don’t appreciate being forced to respect the environment.

This country relies on grease, plastic and fossil fuel like France relies on cigarettes, wine-soaked armpit hair and cheese, and on this night and every other I will light a candle for the great loss my Southern Californian friends have suffered. Rest in peace, ye olde plastic bag, with your fragile body so prone to tears.

Continue reading “L.A. Shoppers Deprived of Plastic Bags, Riot Silently”

After An Exhausting Run, Leonardo DiCaprio is Taking a ‘Long, Long Break’ From Acting

Leonardo DiCaprio Django Unchained eventAfter working back-to-back with Tarantino, Luhrmann and Scorsese on Django Unchained, The Great Gatsby and The Wolf On Wall Street, Leonardo DiCaprio will be putting some space between him and his craft.

“I am a bit exhausted. I’m now going to take a long, long break. I shot three films in two years and I’m just worn out,” DiCaprio told the German tabloid magazine Bild.

Leo, who said that he was “almost sick” when he read his character’s lines in the Django Unchained script, clarified that he would not be in hiding for his “break,” which will involve him improving the world and doing good for the environment.  Continue reading “After An Exhausting Run, Leonardo DiCaprio is Taking a ‘Long, Long Break’ From Acting”

David Blaine’s Magic Is Ruining The Environment

David Blaine has been terrorizing the world with his special brand of “endurance art” since the late 90’s, and in his first stunt since 2008’s disappointing Dive of Death, he stands amid Tesla Coils as he is zapped by an estimated one million volts of electricity.

The thing is, Blaine is literally ruining the environment with his crappy magic. Yahoo! reports that the atmosphere will be negatively impacted by his childish obsession with lightning.

“Here’s the thing about this stunt, the image speaks for itself, there’s no reason to explain it because visually it’s stronger than anything I’ve ever done” Blaine said in a BTS interview.

The trick, labelled “Electrified,” might SOUND thrilling (if not purely for the potential risks), but believe me, it is not interesting to watch for more than .05 seconds. It’s just too planned.  Continue reading “David Blaine’s Magic Is Ruining The Environment”