E! Says Beyonce is, Like, Pregnant Again, For Sure

Beyonce surprise faceE! News’ “most read” article today is, unsurprisingly, one confirming that Beyonce is pregnant with her second child. This means she’ll pop out a beautiful baby (likely the subject of her next HBO special) named Green Violet sometime next winter.

(Hard to be excited for her when SOME people are having their breasts and ovaries removed.)

Clues include a concert cancellation (for dehydration and exhaustion), one stomach-concealing Givenchy dress, and the interviews Beyonce gave right after she gave birth to Blue Ivy. The ones where she said Jay-Z and her weren’t done making sweet unprotected love on a rug made of ground-up Destiny’s Child members. The Hobbit Ring humor Beyonce Single Ladies Beyonce’s “I’m about to have another baby” dance goes something like this...

Justin Bieber Faints From Exhaustion in London, Should Probably Retire

Justin Bieber shirtless hospital You don’t have to be a psychic to see that Justin Bieber is overworked and overstressed.

Yesterday, during his second to last consecutive show at London’s O2 Arena, he stumbled off stage and collapsed just out of sight of his fans. Like a stubborn injured quarterback, Justin returned to finish his set after being treated with oxygen.

O2 Arena is exactly the same venue he was booed at for showing up at least 40 minutes late because his combination bicep and penis pump broke of “technical difficulties.”

Later he went on Twitter for a meltdown about rumors, God, judgment and his tiny topless body.

Continue reading “Justin Bieber Faints From Exhaustion in London, Should Probably Retire”

Stevie Nicks Apologizes For Saying She Would Have Laid The Smack Down On Nicki Minaj

Stevie Nicks is apologizing for saying that if she’d swapped places with Mariah Carey during the infamous Nicki Minaj feud she would have gone to jail for murdering her.

“If I had been Mariah I would have walked over to Nicki and strangled her to death right there. I would have killed her in front of all those people and had to go to jail for it,” she told The Daily.

In a written apology, the 64-year-old Fleetwood Mac singer blames exhaustion.  Continue reading “Stevie Nicks Apologizes For Saying She Would Have Laid The Smack Down On Nicki Minaj”

Lindsay Lohan Is Just A Really Hard Sleeper

False reports of Lindsay Lohan’s being found unconscious and rushed to the hospital yesterday flooded the internet.

I myself was genuinely worried that she was on the verge of death.

I began rethinking my whole “career” of poking fun at celebrities and how the media is partially responsible for Lindsay’s downfall and even more so for her lack of recovery.

Thank god she’s okay and I don’t have to stop being an asshole.

According to TMZ a Ritz Carlton employee had trouble waking her up and called 911 at 10:15 in the morning.

She was not taken to the hospital but had been complaining of exhaustion the prior day due to working a 13-hour day.  Continue reading “Lindsay Lohan Is Just A Really Hard Sleeper”

Demi Moore’s ‘Legal’ Drug Problem

One week ago, not long after her announced departure from husband Ashton Kutcher, Demi Moore collapsed, began having convulsions and breathing abnormally then sought treatment for exhaustion.

The 911 call reveals that she had “smoked something” (not marijuana but similar to incense?) and TMZ reports that she was likely doing Whip-Its (compressed nitrous oxide) as well.

So what was this mysterious drug that caused her to need hospitalization?

Some are citing salvia while others suggest that it could be “spice,” a new and controversial legal drug that can be bought online.

The worst and saddest part of this story is that Rumer Willis was there at the time.

A man’s voice can be heard on the tape saying “Hey, Rue,” and asking a question about the front gate.