Justin Bieber Falls Lightly Onto Pavement like a Featherweight Princess

justin bieber falling skateboardA few days ago I awoke to uplifting news of Justin Bieber falling off his skateboard, but upon further reading learned that he was barely hurt and gently drifted across the cement like a single sheet of leftover Christmas tissue paper caught in a persistent breeze.

No carnage, just blonde-headed Justin in dress skating poorly but still better than the average schmo reluctantly eating pavement, about as bruised as a green banana. Continue reading “Justin Bieber Falls Lightly Onto Pavement like a Featherweight Princess”

Madonna’s Kids and Boyfriend Ski Circles Around Her Corpse

Madonna skiiingNew York Daily News has photos of Madonna tumbling down the slopes at a ski resort in Switzerland like a bag of gluten-free Snickerdoodles.

Her daughter Lourdes and 25-year-old boytoy Brahim (almost the same age as Crystal Harris) watched from afar as their mama ate snow, not laughing at all (because if they did, she’d shut them in her hyperbaric chamber with Elton John and Guy Ritchie).  Continue reading “Madonna’s Kids and Boyfriend Ski Circles Around Her Corpse”

Smashing Pumpkins’ Lead Billy Corgan Sued Over Falling Tree

Famous couple (and naked bathtub video-makers) Eric Dane (Grey’s Anatomy) and Rebecca Gayheart (Jawbreaker) are suing their musician neighbor Billy Corgan over a eucalyptus tree that fell onto their property.

According to a lawsuit obtained by TMZ, a very pregnant Gayheart and her husband had to evacuate their flooding home after the tree knocked over a power line and fell into their home in Beverly Hills during a vicious storm in 2011.

This sounds like a really good video game produced by John Woo or Quentin Tarantino. With-child woman dodging live high voltage wires with her cocky fake doctor husband (he doesn’t make it).

Continue reading “Smashing Pumpkins’ Lead Billy Corgan Sued Over Falling Tree”