Justin Bieber Falls Lightly Onto Pavement like a Featherweight Princess

justin bieber falling skateboardA few days ago I awoke to uplifting news of Justin Bieber falling off his skateboard, but upon further reading learned that he was barely hurt and gently drifted across the cement like a single sheet of leftover Christmas tissue paper caught in a persistent breeze.

No carnage, just blonde-headed Justin in dress skating poorly but still better than the average schmo reluctantly eating pavement, about as bruised as a green banana. Continue reading “Justin Bieber Falls Lightly Onto Pavement like a Featherweight Princess”

Some Guy Almost Fell Over to Take a Selfie With Kim Kardashian

guy taking selfie with Kim Kardashian A picture is worth a thousand words, or in Kim Kardashian and the paparazzi’s case, a thousand dollars and up. This random lad from the street literally bent over backwards to pose with the star of American Horror Story: Armenian for a photo that is worth nothing unless he expects to get poon by Catfishing girls into believing he knows Kim.

Skateboard-holding white boy in Converse could pass for a hoodlum friend of her brother, Rob Kardashian, but we all know that Rob ate all his friends along with his feelings, his step-dad’s balls and his little sister’s humility.  Continue reading “Some Guy Almost Fell Over to Take a Selfie With Kim Kardashian”

Miguel Fell on a Girl at the Billboard Music Awards [GIF & VIDEO]

Miguel fell off stageHave you heard of this kid, Miguel? I guess I shouldn’t call him a kid because we’re the same age. He won a Grammy for the song “Adorn.” He makes “intellectual” R&B (cringe) like Frank Ocean.

If we’re going screechy, I’d rather listen to MJ, Prince, Cee Lo or Bruno Mars. Snobbery aside, Miguel fell on a girl or two at the Billboard Music Awards in Vegas on Sunday.

I can only assume he didn’t intend to scissor-kick/nutcrack some poor woman’s head, but is it impressive or douchey that he didn’t stop singing after he gifted her with a potential vicodin addiction for neck cramps?

Miguel actually has a history of falling off the stage. (Previous locations include London and New Jersey.)
Miguel falls off stage
The second best part of the Billboard Music Awards (which I didn’t watch because of GoT) was probably when Kid Rock verbally bitchslapped all the lip-syncing pop stars.  Click for other Billboard news…

Poor Steven Tyler, Fell, Got Back Up, Turned Into Gollum

According to a study conducted at University of Michigan, a third of people age 60 and older have difficulty getting in and out of the bath or shower, even with safety equipment installed.

Do you know how old American Idol/Aerosmith frontlady Steven Tyler is? 63. So of course I believe him when he says that he hasn’t fallen off the wagon. He wasn’t drunk or high when he fell in the shower, he’s just old and frail, like Gollum.

Continue reading “Poor Steven Tyler, Fell, Got Back Up, Turned Into Gollum”

‘Biggest Loser’ Star Suffers Serious Fall

Season 9 cast member of NBC’s Biggest Loser Sam Poueu suffered a broken leg, torn ligaments and a punctured lung after falling several stories out of a building.

The 26-year old Samoan-born reality star was hospitalized and in critical condition in San Francisco over the weekend.

One positive turn came in the form of an update posted by his cousin, Koli Palu, who let us know…

Continue reading “‘Biggest Loser’ Star Suffers Serious Fall”