GQ Made Julia Louis-Dreyfus Bang a Clown

Julia Dreyfus clown sexFirst of all, I want to applaud Time magazine for trying to write a serious piece about Julia Louis-Dreyfus’ “lust-filled embrace” with a shirtless clown.

While they chose the title “Clown Sex and the Rise of Funny-Naked Women,” Gawker went with the much more straightforward and attention-grabbing “Julia Louis-Dreyfus F*cks a Clown For GQ.”

It’s not too hard to imagine Louis-Dreyfus agreeing to this, seeing as it was for the Comedy Issue, listing her as one of the “15 Funniest People Alive,” and this picture is definitely funny.

What’s almost better is the photo of the aftermath. #ClownBaby

Dreyfus is on a roll lately, also causing a bit of a controversy when she posed for an April cover of Rolling Stone with words from the US Constitution tattooed on her nude body.

Rihanna For British GQ, December 2013

Rihanna snake cover gq Rihanna joins acclaimed art director Damien Hirst for British GQ’s 25th anniversary issue all decked out in snakes looking like a voodoo queen sidekick of Angela Bassett in American Horror Story: Coven. (DID YOU SEE her sitting on that elaborate throne playing Solitaire on an iPad?)

Rihanna’s interview from the December edition of the magazine isn’t available yet, so here are some quotes from her recent sit-down with Glamour.

On being bullied / developing a thick skin: “I got teased my entire school life. What they were picking on I don’t even understand. It was my skin color. Then when I got older, it was about my breasts. But I’m not victimized – I’m grateful. I think those experiences were strategically put together by God for the preparation of being in the music industry. It’s so easy for me to deal with the bullsh*t now.”

Continue reading “Rihanna For British GQ, December 2013”

Anna Kendrick For GQ, September 2013

Anna Kendrick bra GQI was thinking of posting something that allows readers to vote for either Emma Stone, Aubrey Plaza or Jennifer Lawrence in a sort of funny, bangable down-to-earth lady contest and completely forgot about Anna Kendrick, the girl who became rapidly famous after landing a role in Twilight, then the Academy Award-nominated Up in the Air and beloved fan-favorite Pitch Perfect which then led to the unexpected top 40 hit “Cups.”

On top of all this, she’s nice and not a bridge-dwelling ogre? C’est la vie.

Here she is for GQ: semi topless with a honey-colored beehive. Within the mag, she talks about being embarrassed when she’s accosted for autographs while underwear shopping. Buy her favorite beer (Belgian-style) after you ask and she may forgive.

Blue Ivy and Jay-Z Can’t Keep Beyonce Away From The Thong Drawer

Beyonce gq cover 2013Beyonce seems to have found the get-up she’s wearing on the cover of GQ’s February 2013 issue while rummaging through old boxes of Destiny’s Child props. It’s nice to see her back, doing her thing (making everyone look bad).

Mrs. Z, who gave birth to that talking vine from The Ruins exactly a year ago, is representing “The 100 Sexiest Women of the Century” in a leopard print thong, gold chain and cropped bottom-boob exposing vintage football shirt.

I really hope they let her throw out the first pass of the game for Aaron Rodgers or Russell Wilson. Or run the ball back, or kick a field goal in six-inch heels (if you can dance in them, you can kick in them).

Keep your eyes peeled for “hotter” pictures of Beyonce next Tuesday, the day GQ releases the full interview and interior photo spread shot by Terry “Wear My Glasses” Richardson.  Continue reading “Blue Ivy and Jay-Z Can’t Keep Beyonce Away From The Thong Drawer”

Stories I’m Too Lazy To Write About [11-29-12]

Jessica Chaistain gets naked and crazy for British GQ‘s January  2013 issue. (ONTD!)

Female Phelps Missy Franklin to swim against decimate high school students. (Yahoo!)

Frank Ocean is growing and he’s very proud of said growth. (ohmyGAHH!)

Link from Zelda met Skrillex and they made a browser game together. (Kotaku)

Billboard Woman of the Year Katy Perry talks about why she’s undeserving. (411 Mania)

Oh my god, Jared Leto is so skinny you’ll wonder if he’s photoshopped. (Evil Beet)

Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellen returning to X-Men in Days of Future Past. (Huffington Post)

Do Michelle Obama and Madonna Belong on a List of the 25 ‘Least Influential’ People?

GQ just released their list of various politicians, sports figures, musicians and Hollywood figures who they consider to be the least influential, and there are more than a few inclusions that just don’t sit right.

Amanda Bynes and Gotye: yes, Michelle Obama, hell no.

Forget that she’s the first lady, Mrs. O is actually somebody worth idolizing.

Seeing that her entry (number seven) is accompanied by a picture of her snarfing down Haagen Daz straight out of the container in a bath robe, it’s clear that the compiler of this list merely dislikes her vendetta against fast food.  Continue reading “Do Michelle Obama and Madonna Belong on a List of the 25 ‘Least Influential’ People?”

One of GQ’s Men of the Year is Hiding Something Under Their Leather Jacket…

Rihanna covers GQ magazine’s Men of the Year issue covered in nothing, unless you count that half of a bomber jacket draped over her shoulders.

It’s a December to remember, she’s officially GQ’s second female dude of the year, behind Lana del Rey!

Baby giraffe is sporting her now-gone pixie cut and the grandma-dedicated underboob tattoo she got back in September.

She’s sharing her title with Channing Tatum, Ben Affleck, Quentin Tarantino, Frank Ocean, Rick Ross, Usain bolt and “the guys who put us on Mars.” Rihanna’s navy tosses their sailor hats in the air, saluting with erections.

Great distraction for the Chris Brown assassins in waiting. Kansas City Shuffle, biotch.

Ashley Greene For British GQ, December 2012

Breaking Dawn star Ashley Greene covers British GQ‘s December issue (on newsstands November 1) with the subtitle “Ashley Greene wants to be a BIG movie star. Have you got a problem with that?”

I wasn’t aware there was a riot parade of people protesting Ashley Greene’s fame.

She hasn’t been in many movies besides Twilight. Recently LOL (3.4 rating on IMDb), The Apparition (4.2) and the upcoming film CBGB, by the director of Houseguest.

I’m not saying she can’t act or won’t be a big star outside of Stephenie Meyer stuff.

Many actresses end up in flops before that one big [credible] project comes along and shoots them out of the straight-to-DVD abyss. I can see her being somewhere in Rachel McAdams. Romantic comedies might work. Here are some dating-related interview highlights: Continue reading “Ashley Greene For British GQ, December 2012”

G4’s Tech/Gaming Programs ‘Attack of the Show’ and ‘X-Play’ Cancelled

Sad news for gamers and tech junkies. NBC affiliate G4 have officially cancelled Attack of the Show and X-Play. 

Fans of both shows were shaken up earlier this year when their two most familiar faces, Adam Sessler and Kevin Pereira, quit the network.

In September it was reported that NBCU was looking to turn the channel into a “TV version of GQ” aimed at the “modern male.” Funny because I thought AOTS and X-Play‘s were already targeted at modern males aka real people.

G4 Media General Manager Adam Stotsky confirms:  Continue reading “G4’s Tech/Gaming Programs ‘Attack of the Show’ and ‘X-Play’ Cancelled”

Lana Del Rey Gives British GQ Her Body In Exchange For ‘Woman Of The Year’ Title

Lana Del Rey shares the cover of British GQ’s 15th Annual Men Of The Year Awards issue with four people. She has the obvious distinction of being the only one with ovaries, ovaries she almost displays in a naked, leg-hugging embrace.

Tinie Tempah, comedian James Corden Robbie Williams, and silver fox John Slattery (Mad Men) appear on the other covers [fully clothed] in tuxedos.

Turns out, it was neither the editor-in-chief or photographer who convinced seemingly reclusive Lana to wear nothing but blue jewels on her neck and finger. It was her stylist, Johnny Blueeyes whose “support and direction was invaluable ” in the production of her cover.

I thought OTHER people couldn’t keep their clothes on in her presence. Lyrical proof: “You can’t keep your hands off me, or your pants on” #NationalAnthem

Paris Hilton For Russian GQ, Doing What She Excels At

Paris Hilton is topless in Russian GQ for their September issue. I would call it “tasteful,” but I don’t think that’s doing much justice. This is a girl who entered fame the way most of us enter the world: naked.

We don’t want tasteful Paris because, as humans, we are inherently fearful of change.

The girl who once asked if they make walls at Wal-Mart is sticking to what she does best – being topless.

New talents include riding a carousel with her mouth open, lying on a bed with her mouth open, letting people put cigarettes in her open mouth, and covering her boobs with her mouth closed.

The day Paris makes us call her DJ Loosemuffin and wears a monocle while riding a carousel is the day I die happy.  Continue reading “Paris Hilton For Russian GQ, Doing What She Excels At”

Stories I’m Too Lazy To Write About [8-15-12]

Jesus appears to us as shirtless Tim Tebow in GQ. (Us Weekly)

Taylor Swift dates Kennedy kid for a few days, buys a house on the family compound. (People)

Snow White cut from Snow White sequel? (Examiner)

Kim Kardashian is in jail! On television. (Huffington Post)

The Loch Ness monster is totally real. Smaller than you’d imagine. (Daily Mail)

Oldest-sheriff-ever Arnold Schwarzenegger is in town. (Twitch)

Lindsay Lohan and Charlie Sheen are going to die in Scary Movie 5. (Yahoo!)

Katy Perry thinks her ass deserves a season pass AND free flip-flops. (ABC)

Sometimes, members of the communist party are a hoot. Key word: members. (Gawker)

Mel Gibson has no idea why you don’t like him. (Evil Beet)

Guess who’s engaged? Jennifer Aniston and Justin not-Timberlake. (Zap2it)

Worst Dressed Man Of 2011, Jared Leto Or Chris Brown?

 Thank you GQ UK! They say Chris Brown is the worst dressed man child in the whole world and I couldn’t agree more. For best dressed they list Tinie Tempah and a bunch of people I’ve heard of even less, besides Robert Pattinson.

It brings me great pleasure to present you with these lovely examples of Chris’s prowess as a style icon for people who shop exclusively at Foot Locker, Zumiez and the Liberace thrift store.  Continue reading “Worst Dressed Man Of 2011, Jared Leto Or Chris Brown?”

Clint Eastwood “Doesn’t Give A Fuck” About Opposing Gay Marriage

To be clear, Clint Eastwood supports the gays!

Leonardo DiCaprio and Eastwood are featured in the October issue of GQ, that hits newsstands September 20th.

Clint is the director of the Hoover biopic J. Edgar, which stars DiCaprio and Naomi Watts.

He describes his feelings about gay marriages in the interview proclaiming,

“I don’t give a fuck about who wants to get married to anybody else! Why not!? We’re making a big deal out of things we shouldn’t be making a big deal about of. Just give everybody the chance to have the life they want…”

Continue reading “Clint Eastwood “Doesn’t Give A Fuck” About Opposing Gay Marriage”

GQ’s Men Of The Year

Yesterday marked the annual Men Of The Year ceremony where GQ Magazine unveiled their (mostly) testosterone-driven covers for October.

I have no clue why they choose to announce one woman of the year?  Why pick the aging Dutch model Lara Stone? (And by aging I mean she’s older than me, which is older than the pyramids in that industry)…

Continue reading “GQ’s Men Of The Year”

Michael Vick Wants A Dog, Says “What Have I Done To Anybody?”

Michael Vick recently told GQ Magazine in an interview that people don’t understand dog fighting, that he’d love to have another dog and that only reporters are upset with him. (In so many words)

Here are some quotes from Michael Vick, (What a charming guy)

“Yeah, you got the family dog and the white picket fence, and you just think that’s all there is. Some of us had to grow up in poverty-stricken urban neighborhoods, and we just had to adapt to our environment.”

On dog fighting:

“I mean, I was just one of the ones who got exposed, and because of the position I was in, where I was in my life, it went mainstream. A lot of people got out of it after my situation, not because I went to prison but because it was sad for them to see me go through something that was so pointless, that could have been avoided.”

(When he says “so pointless” it sounds like he cares as much about his actions as he does some pre-season exhibition game with The Eagles)

On criticisms from the public/media:

“For a while, it was all ‘Scold Mike Vick, scold Mike Vick, just talk bad about him, like he’s not a person’…It’s almost as if everyone wanted to hate me. But what have I done to anybody? It was something that happened, and it was people trying to make some money.”

Continue reading “Michael Vick Wants A Dog, Says “What Have I Done To Anybody?””