Best, Worst and Middle-of-the-Road Celeb Halloween Costumes of 2013

Dax Shepard and Kristen Bell (as Khal Drogo and the Khaleesi), Heidi Klum, and Ellen (as Nicki Minaj)
Dax Shepard and Kristen Bell (as Khal Drogo and the Khaleesi), Heidi Klum, and Ellen (as Nicki Minaj)

Halloween [sort of] just happened – when all the famous people test themselves by covering their beautiful faces and dressing up in outfits less expensive and less glamourous than their regular attire in the name of candy corn martini-flavored puking at exclusive parties held by other celebrities – and some of the costumes were pretty damn good.
honey Boo Boo kardashians

And, since the older Kardashian sisters didn’t appear to do much at all, here’s Honey Boo Boo’s entire family AS the Kardashians. P.S. Star Trek/Boo Boo crossover show = Here Comes Honey Cardassian.

miley cyrus halloween costumes celebrity
Joan Rivers, Kelly Ripa and Michael Strahan (as Miley and Robin Thicke), and Miley Cyrus

And then EVERYONE dressed up like Miley Cyrus, and Miley dressed like her new role model, Lil’ Kim…

Kendall Jenner, David Spade and Kate Hudon and Ariana Grande
Kendall Jenner, David Spade and Kate Hudson and teen sensation Ariana Grande

In terms of the worst, it’s always safe (and boring) to dress up like a cat. I expect this kind of non-creativity from kids, but WTF, Kate Hudson.

Chord Overstreet (as Jax Teller), Chris Colfer (sexy R2D2?) and Constance Jablonski (as Britney Spears)
Chord Overstreet (as Jax Teller), Chris Colfer and Constance Jablonski (as Britney Spears)

People who are a small part of pop culture dressed as bigger icons of pop culture for the win.

Actually, screw them all, Katy Perry as Justin Bieber takes the cake. The face, the eyebrows…. <3

Pre-Teen Metal Fan Scares the Crap Out of Heidi Klum and Mel B.

little metal girl america's got talentWhat’s better than a six-year-old girl singing an original song called “Zombie Skin” on national television? Almost nothing.

Except maybe a six-year-old girl looking all cute and innocent and then scaring the blonde German crap out of Heidi Klum and Scary Spice with her original song called “Zombie Skin” as Howard Stern throws up the the horns as if he were at a Metallica concert.

That’s exactly what happened on Tuesday’s episode of America’s Got Talent when tiny Aaralyn and her 9-year-old brother took the stage.

Pretty much the best thing ever when she started singing and Mel B. was all like:  Continue reading “Pre-Teen Metal Fan Scares the Crap Out of Heidi Klum and Mel B.”

You’re Ridiculous For Thinking Joan Rivers Would Ever Apologize For Anything

Joan Rivers Oscar special 2013Almost nothing irks me more than celebrity apologies. There’s nothing less genuine and more weak than saying you’re sorry for something you meant to do or say. If any one profession is immune to the pressure of releasing cowardly statements through their frantic PR people, it’s comedians.

Here’s a recent joke about Heidi Klum that Joan Rivers has come under fire for after a special Oscars-edition airing of Fashion Police on Monday:

The last time a German looked this hot was when they were pushing Jews into the ovens.

Oh no! It’s not like the very funny, very Jewish Joan doesn’t make jokes like this every week. Her favorite topics include WWII, tampons, plastic surgery and obesity…  Continue reading “You’re Ridiculous For Thinking Joan Rivers Would Ever Apologize For Anything”

Heidi Klum Is F*****g Her Giant Bodyguard

TMZ caught up with Heidi Klum’s estranged husband at the airport and asked the singer about Klum dating her bodyguard.

Turns out, Heidi is and was boinking ‘the help,’ as Seal called him, during their marriage.

While he was cordial in saying that he’d rather have ‘a familiar face’ in his children’s lives, he also dropped this bomb:

“I would have preferred Heidi would have shown a little bit more class and at least wait until we separated first before deciding to fornicate with the help, as it were.”  Continue reading “Heidi Klum Is F*****g Her Giant Bodyguard”

‘Naked Truth’ Portfolios For Allure, May 2012

Heidi Klum, Maria Menounos, Taraji P. Henson, Debra Messing, Leslie Bibb, and Morena Baccarin of Homeland all participated in the “naked truth” celebooty portfolio issue of Allure. Here are some funny quotes on nudity and preparing for the shoot, plus the pictures:

Taraji P. Henson, on her lack of modesty: “My friends won’t be surprised by this shoot. Whenever we go to the beach, I’m like, ‘Is this a nude beach? Can I take my top off?'” 

“I know some idiot has a telescope, so I always wave, he’s going to be pissed when I move.”

Leslie Bibb, on juice cleanses:  “It was an angry four days, Sam [Rockwell, her boyfriend] was like, ‘Thank God I’m not with you right now. You are not nice on the juice cleanse.'”

Continue reading “‘Naked Truth’ Portfolios For Allure, May 2012”

Is EVERYONE Getting Divorced?

Susan Sarandon and not-husband Tim Robbins, Katy Perry and Russell Brand, Zooey Deschanel and Ben Gibbard, Kim Gordon and Thurston Moore, Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher.

Who am I forgetting? Oh yeah, Seal and Heidi Klum! Today TMZ reported that after 7 years the couple will split. Klum will supposedly file for divorce next week.

It’s particularly hard to know if they’re really separating because on one hand Klum posted a happy picture of her and her husband snuggling during a winter vacation in Aspen four weeks ago.

Continue reading “Is EVERYONE Getting Divorced?”

Heidi Klum’s Halloween Costumes Are Too Elaborate

I never thought I’d say this but, Heidi Klum, why can’t you be more like Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian? The model/captive seal keeper hosted her 13th Halloween party on Saturday in Las Vegas at Tao.

She entered the party on a gurney, wheeled in by two “doctors.” The fake doctor model guys lifted up a sheet to reveal Klum in a skintight body suit that was made to look like her skin was completely gone.

Plus, her hair was obscured by the suit, so she looked like a bald man with no teeth OR skin. Wanna know what Paris and Kim went as? Kim dressed like Poison Ivy and Paris went as She-Ra!

Continue reading “Heidi Klum’s Halloween Costumes Are Too Elaborate”