Alec Baldwin FURIOUS at Daily Mail Writer, Deletes Twitter

Alec Baldwin wife funeralThe Daily Mail wrote an entire article on Alec Baldwin’s wife Hilaria updating her Twitter while she was at James Gandolfini’s funeral and Alec is MAD. Maybe madder than the time the flight attendants told him to stop playing Words With Friends on his phone or the time he called his daughter on the phone and called her a pig.

Baldwin was so enraged by the apparently untrue story about his wife using her phone during a funeral, he deleted his Twitter. But not before typing up a few slightly homo-centric tweets about the writer, George Stark, who he called a “toxic little queen,” and a “lying little bitch.”

Another favorite: “If put my foot up your f*cking ass, George Stark, but I’m sure you’d dig it too much.”

No idea why Hilaria Thomas wouldn’t want to pay attention to him or Gandolfini’s funeral. It’s not like social media isn’t her only escape now that she’s been knocked up by such a delightful guy.  Continue reading “Alec Baldwin FURIOUS at Daily Mail Writer, Deletes Twitter”

Alec Baldwin and His Wife Commit Hate Crimes and Throw People Out Windows

Alec Baldwin Hilaria Thomas casualAlec Baldwin is being investigated for calling one New York Post photographer a “coon” and telling another that he wanted to choke her to death. Meanwhile, his wife is being sued for teaching crappy injury-causing yoga classes.

One story is easier to believe than the other since we all know Alec Baldwin once called his daughter a pig and wore a Klan robe on a public street in broad daylight. Baldwin denied making the racist remarks, which originated because he was asked about the allegations against his pregnant wife…

Allegations that she, Hilaria Thomas, yoga instructor extraordinaire, overbooked a class and the overbooking supposedly resulted in a man putting his leg through a window.  Continue reading “Alec Baldwin and His Wife Commit Hate Crimes and Throw People Out Windows”

Hilaria Thomas Screamed Bloody Murder Over Positive Pregnancy Test

Hilaria Thomas pregnantBig dreamin’ yoga instructor Hilaria Thomas confirmed the strength of high-end Baldwin sperm during an airing of Extra. It’s less the baby and more the sound she made when she found out that I’m interested in.

Alec explains that he heard his wife yowling in the bathroom and ran in to save her from an imminent death that actually turned out to be her reaction to double lines on the pregnancy test.

“There’s a scream I heard, which is a scream normally reserved for if there’s a spider in the house, not exaggerating,” Baldwin said. “So then I hear that scream again, but it was not a spider.”

Can you imagine a world where women become pregnant after spotting those little eight-eyed bastards?

Continue reading “Hilaria Thomas Screamed Bloody Murder Over Positive Pregnancy Test”

Alec Baldwin Married A Yoga Instructor

On Saturday Alec Baldwin Married his Spanish girlfriend of a year, 26-year-old yoga and dance instructor Hilaria Thomas at St. Patrick’s Old Cathedral in New York with Woody Allen, Tina Fey, and crazy Stephen and Billy Baldwin in the crowd.

It’s good that he’s with someone who I assume is centered and peaceful but apparently she can’t downward face-dog him out of  attacking photographers and calling them ‘little girls.’

He punched the one paparazzi right after obtaining his marriage license in Manhattan while he was with her.  Continue reading “Alec Baldwin Married A Yoga Instructor”