Gisele Doesn’t Know How to Hold a Baby

Gisele holding her baby Each person has their own special brand of bad parenting. Some beat their kids with broom handles while others impose their own neurosis, religious views and political stances on them. My child, for instance, would be anxious and bitter with a strict diet of Haribo raspberries and Taco Bell cheese.

Gisele Bundchen’s Bad Parenting 101 involves holding her daughter like she’s a sack of useless turnips or soon-to-be drowned cats.

With a mother who cares that little, Tom Brady’s offspring is sure to become a stripper before age 21.

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