L.A. Shoppers Deprived of Plastic Bags, Riot Silently

Almost as sad as Mean Girls now being 10 years old (take some time to process that), a few random laws are effective immediately with the coming of the New Year. Laws such as the recreational use of sticky icky in Colorado (not so sad), and the ban of plastic bags in Los Angeles.

Like every wasteful, gluttony-rooted American, I don’t appreciate being forced to respect the environment.

This country relies on grease, plastic and fossil fuel like France relies on cigarettes, wine-soaked armpit hair and cheese, and on this night and every other I will light a candle for the great loss my Southern Californian friends have suffered. Rest in peace, ye olde plastic bag, with your fragile body so prone to tears.

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30 Seconds To Mars Recruit Lindsay Lohan, Kanye and More for ‘City of Angels’


Jared Leto and Thirty Seconds To Mars continue their streak of lengthy, cheesy, over-the-top videos with “City of Angels,” which begins with testaments to the beauty and destruction of L.A. by celebrities.

Cameos include Kanye West, Olivia Wilde, Corey Feldman, Selena Gomez, Juliette Lewis, James Franco, Ashley Olsen, Lily Collins, Alan Cumming, Lindsay Lohan, Shaun White, a porn star, two impersonators (Michael Jackson and Marilyn Monroe) and the late Christopher Reeve.  Continue reading “30 Seconds To Mars Recruit Lindsay Lohan, Kanye and More for ‘City of Angels’”

Local LA Crazy Man Will Likely Be Waived From NBA Team

Metta World Peace short shortsThe Los Angeles Lakers are considering taking a crucial step in becoming a little less douchey by electing to use their amnesty provision on forward Metta World Peace, the athlete formerly known as Ron Artest. If they go through with it, MWP will be picked up by another team and will continue his career elsewhere.

I’m okay with this situation for two reasons. One, I hate the Lakers, and a decent portion of their fans are pretty butthurt right now about their precious Metta’s (probable) departure.

And two, I hate the guy. Plain and simple.

I’m not going to talk much about his performance as an athlete, because there’s no question that he’s talented. And while his game has declined a bit over the last few seasons, he’ll have no problem getting picked up by another team.  Continue reading “Local LA Crazy Man Will Likely Be Waived From NBA Team”

Los Angeles Police Say it’s Safe to Drink a Liquified Dead Body

Cecil Hotel corpseRemember that movie about the family that moves into the apartment building, and as soon as they go to brush their teeth all these ghosts fly out of the faucet? And the ghosts are like “You should move.”

Then you learn that the dead body of a young girl was floating in the water tank the whole time? It was called Dark Water…

Well, police would like you to believe that drinking corpse water is completely safe.

Last week, workers at the Cecil Hotel in downtown Los Angeles discovered the body of a Canadian woman at the bottom of one of the building’s water tanks after guests complained to the front desk about poor water pressure. Continue reading “Los Angeles Police Say it’s Safe to Drink a Liquified Dead Body”

Rihanna’s New Shrub-Surrounded House in L.A. is Pretty Okay

Rihanna mansion 2012Rihanna, who recently posted an Instagram photo of a card that says “Being single sucks,” just bought a $12 million dollar mansion in the Pacific Palisades neighborhood in Los Angeles. If Cribs was still on (if it hasn’t been cancelled, replace “on” with “popular”), they’d show an overly enthusiastic Rihanna waving her arms around in and at the seven bedrooms, nine bathrooms, game room and refrigerator full of MTV-provided soda (that used to be Corona).

“Here’s another room that Chris Brown and I had disgusting sex in…” “There’s the live-in nurse and domestic violence therapist, Hilda.” Whatever.  Continue reading “Rihanna’s New Shrub-Surrounded House in L.A. is Pretty Okay”

Doc Brown Look-Alike Rides Around L.A. in Customized DeLorean

Paul Nigh DeLoreanSome guy named Paul Nigh spent $150,000 customizing his DeLorean to look like the one from Back to the Future and I would consider it an injustice to let him slip into the abyss of odd non-famous, movie-obsessed personalities in Los Angeles without a quick mention.

Yesterday, Paul drove around in his precious creation (the “most famous replica,” according to TMZ) around looking like Doc Brown in an appropriately eccentric outfit at the Shell Station in Woodland Hills.

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Steve Nash To The Lakers For The Win

38-year-old all-star point guard Steve Nash has officially been traded to the Los Angeles Lakers from the Phoenix Suns for four draft picks in various years (2013-2015), two in the first round and two in the second.

Sources told ESPN that he is to stay in L.A. for three years in exchange for $25 million dollars. Just last week Nash said in a New York radio interview that “it would be hard to put on a Lakers jersey.”

Looks like you’re just going to have to suck it up and deal with playing for the second most successful franchise in NBA history. I love all Canadians, but I’m pro-failure for the Lakers and Kobe Bryant in particular.

‘Terminator 3’ Actor Nick Stahl Is Missing

Nick Stahl, who most notably played John Connor in Terminator 3: Rise Of The Machines was reported missing by his estranged wife on May 14th, though she said she had not seen him since the 9th.

Stahl, who also starred in Sin City (that yellow bastard) and 1998’s Disturbing Behavior alongside Katie Holmes and James Marsden, is a reported drug user.

While police do not suspect foul play, his wife, Rose Murphy, is not so sure.

Members of the LAPD are looking for him around the notorious homeless-magnet area of skid row.

If you’ve seen him, tell someone! What’s today’s equivalent of a face on a milk carton? Oh yeah, the internet.  Continue reading “‘Terminator 3’ Actor Nick Stahl Is Missing”

Drew Barrymore Looks Like A Tiny Khloe Kardashian

Hear me out hear me out. I know Drew Barrymore normally looks nothing like Khloe Kardashian.

Some may even call me a blasphemous harlot for uttering their names in the same sentence.

Barrymore’s career mostly looks like a bowl of cherries, and she’s no reality star BUT she has been married twice and one of those marriages was to Tom Green.

Lamar Odom has got to be at least 20 million steps up from a guy who puts rats in his butt.

Anyway, Drew Barrymore is awesome and so is Khloe (don’t judge me) but in this picture of Drew wandering around L.A. I have to say she looks like a 5’4″ version of the outcast Armenian.  Continue reading “Drew Barrymore Looks Like A Tiny Khloe Kardashian”

Mickey Rourke Is Too Manly (Or Confused) For Pants

Mickey Rourke has got to be the biggest enigma in Hollywood. He really couldn’t give two shits about what anybody thinks about him. I admire that in a person, but it can also be scary and unpredictable. In this case it’s just cute and surreal.

So, he came out of an L.A. restaurant during the day wearing a shirt a hat a jacket and shoes but was sans pants. However, his white and surprisingly stylish non-tighty whitey underwear was visible.

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Lindsay Celebrates Halloween Early, With Candy Corn Teeth

*EMERGENCY ALERT SYSTEM WARNING: WE INTERRUPT YOUR PROGRAMMING TO BRING YOU AN IMPORTANT MESSAGE: LINDSAY LOHAN IS NEVER GOING TO BE NORMAL*

I don’t care if she wins an Oscar or a Grammy or craps golden eggs, she’s never gonna get back on track.

Here’s proof, Lindsay was out at Supperclub on Wednesday in Los Angeles for the premiere of Saint’s Row: The Third (Like Grand Theft Auto but with even less morals) walking down the red carpet, showing off her fucked up teeth

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On Duty L.A. Firefighters Participated In Porn, With Fire Trucks

NBC4 L.A. has confirmed that a handful of firefighters in Los Angeles are in hot water after possibly being involved in multiple porn films.

Firemen in both Venice and Hollywood are under scrutiny after several trucks that belonged to the department were spotted in adult films. The one in Venice Beach was identified as Engine 263 and in Hollywood, Engine 41. Both were used as backdrops for “actresses” performing sexual acts, in reality-style footage...

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Justin Bieber Rented Out Staples Center To Watch ‘Titanic’ With Selena

Justin Bieber gave us take a look into the mind and romantic gestures of a teenage millionaire when he rented out Staples Center in L.A. just to screen the saptastic classic James Cameron flick, Titanic.

Yes, the entire Staples Center, the multi-faceted venue where massive concerts take place, including some of Justin’s own. Oh and the Lakers play there too, no big deal…

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Jerry Leiber (April 25, 1933 – August 22, 2011)

78 year-old Jerry Leiber (left) passed away today at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in LA, of heart failure. Leiber is one-half of the songwriter duo responsible for the Ben E. King hits “Stand By Me” and “Spanish Harlem,” and “Hound Dog” originally sung by Willie Mae Thornton (made famous by Elvis) AND “Love Potion No.9” by The Clovers (which was covered by everyone from AC/DC to Neil Diamond to Robert Plant)

Leiber’s longtime partner in prolific platinum-hit-making glory was Mike Stoller (also 78) who composed music on piano while Lieber lyricized famous lines like:

Is that all there is to a fire?”
Is that all there is, is that all there is?
If that’s all there is
if that’s all there is my friends, then let’s keep dancing
Let’s break out the booze and have a ball
(“Is That All There Is?” 1969)…

Continue reading “Jerry Leiber (April 25, 1933 – August 22, 2011)”