Mila Kunis Wants Expectant Fathers to Shut Up About Being ‘Pregnant’

A very pregnant, very angry Mila Kunis has an important message for all men [besides that one pregnant man]: unless you’re a seahorse, don’t pat your baby mama’s stomach and say “We’re pregnant!” with a big stupid grin on your face.

Soon, Kunis and the eight ice cream-holding women who joined her will be delivering more than just a touching monologue about the difficulties of men taking credit for nothing…
   
Something watermelon-sized that kicks and screams and projectile craps in your eye.

“When you wake up and throw up is it because you’re nurturing a human life? No. It’s because you had too many shots of tequila. Do you know how many shots of tequila we had?? None. Because we can’t have shots of tequila! We can’t have anything.”

Read: Mila on Pregnancy Cravings: Ashton ‘Stocked Our Fridge With Weird Food’

Shotgun Wedding for Mila and Ashton?

Mila kunis pregnant clippers gameRecently engaged Mila Kunis will not be able to enjoy all the free bottles of bourbon that her latest gig as the face of Jim Beam will earn her, if she is actually pregnant, as E! is reporting.

Maybe Ashton can hand them out to Bruce Willis and Laura Prepon in the hospital waiting room? Or the expecting father could use them to numb the trauma of watching his boo push an enormous him-sized baby out her tiny Ukrainian vajay.

Kunis is pregnant with the couple’s first child, a source confirms exclusively to E! News just weeks after being first to report that the former That ’70s Show co-stars were planning to tie the knot.

The Ted star was even recently spotted attending a prenatal yoga class in Hollywood. 

Continue reading “Shotgun Wedding for Mila and Ashton?”

Tiny Brunette Actress Mila Kunis to Wed Large Brunette Actor Ashton Kutcher

Mila Kunis ringKelso and Jackie from That ’70s Show are engaged according to E! News.

In terms of co-star romances, the pairing of Mila Kunis (soooo good in Black Swan) and Kutcher (sooo okay in movies with the word “effect” and “effects” in the title) isn’t quite as exciting as that of Blair Waldorf and Seth Cohen because The O.C. is a much better show, but let’s review the inane facts anyway…

Significantly taller and less talented Ashton – former flame of Demi Moore – and Mila Kunis, former flame of Macaulay Culkin (you wanted to forget, didn’t you?) – have been dating for two years and the only reason E! thinks they’re engaged is because Kunis was seen wandering around L.A. with “a significant-sized rock on her most significant finger.” A source for Perez Hilton has the deets:

“It won’t be a long engagement. He wants to marry her soon and start their life together. He was planning this all along.”  Continue reading “Tiny Brunette Actress Mila Kunis to Wed Large Brunette Actor Ashton Kutcher”

First-Time Reporter Invites Mila Kunis to the Local Pub, Football Match and Chicken Restaurant

Chris Stark Mila KunisMila Kunis went easy on virginal BBC Radio 1 reporter Chris Stark during what must have been an otherwise exhausting and tedious day of promoting Oz the Great and Powerful. Kunis, who seemed quite cheery despite describing herself as “deathly ill,” spit back adorable sarcasm and genuine interest at each of her young interviewer’s non Oz-related remarks, which were not so much questions but statements.

On top of talking about watching Baywatch and getting naked at weddings, Stark invited Mila to the local bar for Jägerbombs and pints (she requested Blue Moon), later adding layers to the date that included the soccer team he supports (Watford Hornets) and a chicken restaurant called Nando’s.  Continue reading “First-Time Reporter Invites Mila Kunis to the Local Pub, Football Match and Chicken Restaurant”

Stories I’m Too Lazy To Write About [10-28-12]

Ashton Kutcher scratches his arm while Mila Kunis noms ice cream bars. (Celebuzz)

There’s a giant fish-catching Gollum statue at Wellington, New Zealand airport. (The Mary Sue)

Enrique Iglesias flaunts torso for “Finally Found You” video. (ONTD!)

7.7 magnitude earthquake hits British Columbia coast. (Los Angeles Times)

Usher‘s new Goldendoodle puppy only cost $12,000. (Us Weekly)

MS Klu Klux Klan Grand Wizard gave his daughter her first KKK robe at age eight. (Radar)

Lucky magazine apologizes for changing Britney Spears’ hairline. (Evil Beet)

Johnny Rzeznik, Ne-Yo, and Natasha Bedingfield sing for Obama‘s “forward” campaign. (ohmyGAHH!)

Mila Kunis Is 2012’s ‘Sexiest Woman Alive,’ Also The Sexiest Woman Who Is Into… Street Art?

Mila Kunis has been named Esquire magazine’s 2012 Sexiest Woman Alive.

On the website’s profile of her, she talks immigration (her parents came from Ukraine to America in 1991 after the collapse of the Soviet Union), comedy, and… political street art?

Kunis talks briefly about a comment she made to Glamour earlier this year about “street-art-based stuff in Los Angeles.”

Esquire: I want to follow up on an answer you recently gave to Glamour. You said you engaged in political street art. Uh, political street art?

Kunis: I can’t really go into detail because I’m going to get into trouble.

Esquire: Why would you get into trouble?

Kunis: Because it’s illegal.  Continue reading “Mila Kunis Is 2012’s ‘Sexiest Woman Alive,’ Also The Sexiest Woman Who Is Into… Street Art?”

Did Emma Watson Walk Off The Set Of Seth Rogen’s ‘The End Of The World?’

No, Emma Watson didn’t walk off the set of the upcoming film The End Of The World written by Seth Rogen and starring him, James Franco, Jonah Hill, Jason Segel, Paul Rudd, and Michael Cera…

But SOMEBODY did. And I need help cracking the mystery of the primadonna actress. James Franco was conducting an interview with Mila Kunis when he told her:

“So a funny thing happened on this movie I’m doing down here in New Orleans that made me think of you. The movie is a comedy, but it’s kind of an outrageous one, and this actress – I won’t say who, but she had a smaller role in the film — walked off the movie in the middle of a scene.” Continue reading “Did Emma Watson Walk Off The Set Of Seth Rogen’s ‘The End Of The World?’”

Mila Kunis For Interview Magazine, August 2012

Let me just say that if you’re taking, style, photography and writing standards into account, Interview Magazine has to be one of the most quality publications in existence.

Their latest piece is James Franco interviewing his Date Night and Oz: The Great And Powerful co-star Mila Kunis. In some parts (that I didn’t include) you end up learning more about James Franco than Mila Kunis, but it’s a win win.

Being herself: I don’t really have a perception issue. I’ve been pretty good about being who I am in the public’s eye. I don’t necessarily put on an act when I go on Jay Leno or dress differently in public than I do in private. I’d like to think I’m the same person, more or less.

Low-key lifestyle: I don’t live lavishly, so it’s not like I have 20 assistants and travel privately and shop every day. I actually live a very mediocre lifestyle.  Continue reading “Mila Kunis For Interview Magazine, August 2012”

Trailer: Oz The Great And Powerful

Take James Franco’s hard-to-miss face, Mila Kunis’ unmistakable voice, Sam Raimi’s notoriety and a $200 million dollar budget and you’ve got Disney’s Oz: The Great And Powerful.

Here we see Franco playing Oz, the con artist who, much like Dorothy, is whisked out of his good ol’ boy American hometown into a mysterious land full of magic, emeralds and witches.  Continue reading “Trailer: Oz The Great And Powerful”

Mila Kunis For Elle UK, August 2012

Mila Kunis, fresh off her box-office talking-teddybear win of $54.1 million, appears on Elle UK’s August cover in Dior. She’s making that face, you know the one. It’s like, ‘Are you looking at me? If you are, that’s okay but if you move I’ll scratch your skin off with a rusty rake.’

People claim she’s talking about her relationship with Ashton Kutcher in the interview when she says it would be impossible to date anyone.

“I’m trying to be like a normal girl and a single girl but the concept of being single in my position isn’t workable. I couldn’t go on a date if I wanted to!”

“Is a guy going to come up to me and ask if he can take me out on a date? Where can I go and have this date? I can’t go anywhere.”

Continue reading “Mila Kunis For Elle UK, August 2012”

Mila Kunis And Ashton Kutcher Are Friends With Benefits Attached

Remember how Ashton Kutcher was in No Strings Attached with Natalie Portman and Black Swan’s Mila Kunis was in Friend With Benefits at the same time?

The movies were about the same thing, except one was actually good (Friends With Benefits, with Kutcher’s fake nemesis Justin Timberlake).

Well, according to Us Weekly, which I trust less than Mel Gibson’s sobriety, Kutcher and Kunis (eww, Kuntcher) are reenacting a combined sequel to those two movies.

A “source” said, “They’re not exclusive, but they are hanging out and seeing where it’s going.” 

Another completely useless person/source mentioned that “they’ve been hot for each other for years,” ever since That 70’s Show.

Continue reading “Mila Kunis And Ashton Kutcher Are Friends With Benefits Attached”

Infamous Nude Cell Phone Hacker Put Behind Bars

Christopher Chaney, the man responsible for leaking Scarlett Johansson’s nude pictures was arrested  in Jacksonville, Florida by the FBI for crimes that include wiretapping and identity theft.

Chaney, 35, gained access to the phones and emails of not only Johansson but also Christina Aguilera, Kreayshawn, Vanessa Hudgens, Mila Kunis (though all he found were penises) and many others.

The hacker was put in jail but isn’t there anymore. He was released on a $10,000 bond and ordered avoid computers and stay at his parent’s home…

Continue reading “Infamous Nude Cell Phone Hacker Put Behind Bars”