Beyonce Wants Jay-Z to ‘Turn Her Cherry Out’ and ‘Lick Her Skittles’ in New Song

Beyonce partition video still underwearBeyonce randomly released a new self-titled album on Thursday on iTunes without promoting it or mentioning the release date prior.

There are also 17, count ’em, SEVENTEEN new music videos and everyone’s talking about how only she and a handful of other mega famous artists could pull off such ballsy move, but what they’re failing to mention is that the CD is super raunchy.

In the absolutely filthy “Blow,” Bey sings “Can you lick my Skittles, that’s the sweetest in the middle, pink that’s the flavor,” “I can’t wait ’til I get home so you can turn that cherry out” and “give me that daddy long stroke.” Continue reading “Beyonce Wants Jay-Z to ‘Turn Her Cherry Out’ and ‘Lick Her Skittles’ in New Song”

New Katy Perry Album ‘Prism’ Due Oct. 22

Katy Perry prism bus Katy Perry‘s PR team revealed the name and release date of her new album via gold semi truck. She says that “Los Angeles is just the first stop on the map,” so keep your eyes peeled and your finger on your iPhone camera app if you want to possibly end up being retweeted by Perry herself.

In case you’re partially blind or tweaking and couldn’t tell from the headline and picture Prism, will be available on October 22.

Perry and Bonnie McKee (Wiki her, she only wrote every hit off Teenage Dream) have been fairly tight-lipped about details but I’m sure you can expect plenty of sing-alongs to carry you through the dark seasons and into the boy and candy-filled summer of 2014.  Continue reading “New Katy Perry Album ‘Prism’ Due Oct. 22”

Yeezus Honeymoon Period Ends as Critics Suddenly Remember Kanye West is a Terrible Person

Yeezus original coverIt’s been an exciting week for America’s favorite douchebag Kanye West, with the release of not only his Kardashian lovechild North, but also his much anticipated new album Yeezus, which “leaked” last week to overwhelmingly positive reviews.

I mean shit, even the snobby assholes over at Pitchfork gave the album a 9.5 and slapped it with a “Best New Music” award. And these are the people who once gave a 2.0 rating to a Nine Inch Nails album.  You know what?  Fuck Pitchfork.

When the weekend rolled around, however, critics began digging deeper into the album. Dorian Lynskey wrote up a solid review questioning some of Kanye’s lyrics and messaging.  Among Lynskey’s least favorite lyrics are “Put my fist in her like a civil rights sign” (nice!) and “I call that apartheid,”  referring to his wife and mistress being forced to sit on opposite sides of the basketball court at an NBA game (Courtside Apartheid?  Also, what wife and mistress?  Kim Kardashian doesn’t count).  Continue reading “Yeezus Honeymoon Period Ends as Critics Suddenly Remember Kanye West is a Terrible Person”

Britney Spears Gets in Shape by Avoiding Giant Bowls Full of Cookie Dough

Britney Spears Shape Magazine 2013 Britney Spears‘ exercise and diet tips involve walking backwards on the elliptical three times a week and saying no to uncooked gobs of sugary salmonella goodness.

“I try not to make those too often or I’ll eat the whole bowl of dough,” Spears says of the chocolate chip cookies she sometimes makes for her sons. Other quotes on her regime and new CD from the latest issue of Shape Magazine:

On her Vegas residency: “I’m working out really hard for my upcoming shows in Vegas. The performances won’t be special – they’ll be a massive party from start to finish. And to pull this off, I have to be in top condition and running at full speed.”

Reverse booty workout: “My favorite way to tone my butt is going in reverse on the treadmill and the elliptical. It targets those muscles that are often overlooked. Yeah, that’s my big secret: Do everything backwards!”  Continue reading “Britney Spears Gets in Shape by Avoiding Giant Bowls Full of Cookie Dough”

God Help Us: Miley’s New Album ‘Sounds Like Her Personality’

Miley Cyrus V Magazine underwearSomebody’s been rummaging through Justin Bieber’s underwear drawer. Miley Cyrus dropped trou for V Magazine and talked about her new album and the rumors about her and Liam.

So much for her “A star is someone who doesn’t have to take her clothes off to be sexy” quote in Elle UK. V plays up the whole “she’s a new person because she cut her hair” thing, but I’m not buying it.

She looks like a new person, but she’ll always be Hannah Montana and the girl who ear-raped me with “Party in the U.S.A.” Speaking of that song, Miley still loves it, saying she’d never “take it back” because that would be like Billy Ray “saying that he hated ‘Achy Breaky.'”
Miley V magazine cover 2013Miley Cyrus V magazine cover 2013 Continue reading “God Help Us: Miley’s New Album ‘Sounds Like Her Personality’”

Beyonce For Vogue, March 2013

Beyonce Vogue 2013 Before her big night(s) at the Super Bowl and Grammys (to which she wore a similarly underwhelming black and white trouser and top combo), Beyonce did an interview with Vogue that generated a headline about Blue Ivy being her best and only friend in the world.

This is not entirely true. Vogue did in fact incorporate unique quotes from pals like Gemini’s Twin member Kelly Rowland, mother Tina Knowles, Alicia Keys (who said she has “more power than any woman”) and Gwyneth Paltrow (friends with everybody). GQ did the same thing in their extra strange interview with Bey, enlisting Solange for what felt like half the interview.

Maybe Beyonce just isn’t filling enough space on the page? Here are the parts she did fill in, with crayons, for Vogue’s March issue…  Continue reading “Beyonce For Vogue, March 2013”

Princess of Pop Working On ‘Personal,’ ‘Unexpected’ New Album

Scream and Shout BritneyBritney Spears‘ recording schedule has always been a bit erratic. She churned out an album for each of the first three years of her career, taking a breather after Britney (2001) and then In The Zone (2003) to get married, have kids, shave the old noggin’ and keep a watchful eye on Fanta and beef jerky sales at the gas station.

She returned for Blackout (2007, infamous “Gimme More” dance at the VMAs) and Circus (2008), then took a nearly three-year break before releasing Femme Fatale.

A Q&A with fans on Twitter indicates that a whole new CD full of Britney’s breathy “oohs” will actually come out sometime this year! Continue reading “Princess of Pop Working On ‘Personal,’ ‘Unexpected’ New Album”

Rihanna’s Chalice Is Happy On ‘Unapologetic’ Album Cover

Rihanna has released a new album every fall since 2005’s Music of the Sun with the exception of the one year break between Good Girl Gone Bad and Rated R. 

Her latest is titled Unapologetic and has a set release date of November 19, 2012.

In case you forget that it’s called Unapologetic and that she herself will never apologize for dating Chris Brown, she’s written it all over her body, along with other choice words and numbers like “7,” “happy,” “fearless,” “chalice,” “side effects,” “roc,” “faith,” “victory,” “#navy” “diamonds,” “love” and “fun.”

Phuck you Chris Brown and giant Egpytian boob tattoo/carefully placed words.  Continue reading “Rihanna’s Chalice Is Happy On ‘Unapologetic’ Album Cover”

New Killers Album In 2012, First In Four Years!

The first Killers album since 2008’s Day & Age is scheduled for 2012, Brandon Flowers has confirmed it. He says to expect a mix of the old and some new as well.

“I think the consensus within the band is to take those things that we’ve done well and really hone in on that, we don’t want to make Hot Fuss 2 or Sam’s Town 2, or Day & Age 2. We’ll maybe take all that stuff, the best of all of it and do what we know how to do.”

This is wonderful news for fans no matter what the album sounds like. A disappointing third Killers record not to mention the horribly crappy Brandon Flowers solo effort from 2010 had everyone wondering if the band was over.

Continue reading “New Killers Album In 2012, First In Four Years!”

Madonna To Collaborate With Nicki Minaj & M.I.A.

After rumors swirled about a potential Madonna collab with Mrs. Paper Planes and Ms. Super bASS, M.I.A. herself has confirmed it on Twitter. (Where else?)

Apparently the three met over coffee in New York, and when I say “the three,” it does feel, deservedly so, like a LOTR reference. “Three Rings for the Elven-kings under the sky.” Mhmmm rings, or superstars of pop.  Continue reading “Madonna To Collaborate With Nicki Minaj & M.I.A.”

New Rihanna Album, Due November 21, 2011!

Less than a year after her insanely popular album Loud (Nov 12, 2010) dropped, Rihanna has announced a new effort, her sixth, due this November.

Loud spawned six massive hits in 2010 and 2011 – “Only Girl (In The World),” What’s My Name,” “S&M,” “Man Down,” “California King Bed” and “Cheers (Drink To That)”

I can only imagine what her next (untitled) album will do in terms of record-breaking pop bliss, juicier than organic orange juice. With pulp…

Continue reading “New Rihanna Album, Due November 21, 2011!”

Garbage Album Done Recording In Three Weeks?

August 14, 2011 11:50 am Garbage posted a cryptic message on their Facebook page (above) a picture of Shirley Manson recording vocals, and the simple words,

“Three more weeks to go…”

Continue reading “Garbage Album Done Recording In Three Weeks?”