The Internet Especially Hates These Photos of Kim Kardashian and Kanye West

Kim and Kanye Vogue 1
The latest Vogue spread featuring Kim Kardashian, Kanye West and their daughter North has its own “Kanye taking a picture of your selfie” meme and has caused Sarah Michelle Gellar and others to consider canceling their subscriptions, which probably means it was a success.

You’ll notice the photo below has a wall of mirrors as a backdrop and not a single reflection of Kanye. BuzzfeedCelebuzz and others had appropriate responses, guessing what was actually on the iPad and placing him at the scene of other famous selfies.
Kim and Kanye mirrorOf everything to come from Kim’s whirlwind romance with Vogue, the profile, written by Hamish Bowles, is truly the worst best. Bowles compares Kim’s eyelashes to a “humming-bird’s wings” (pretty sure even the most anal bird scholar would accept “hummingbird,” but okay) and calls Kanye a “creative polyglot.”

The wording of someone with a thesaurus AND knowledge that the people he wrote the article about won’t actually be able to read it.

Continue reading “The Internet Especially Hates These Photos of Kim Kardashian and Kanye West”

North West Has Kim’s Eyes and Kanye’s Look of Disgust

first image of northwest kris Kanye West revealed the first straight-on photo of his daughter, North West. No offense whatsoever, but the kid is really living up that androgynous male name. Babies are genderless to me anyway. And by genderless I mean invisible. And by invisible I mean I want one but I’d ruin its life. You know what they say though, worrying about being a good parent already makes you better than 80% of thoughtless, child-bearing MTV and government check-loving mofos.

This particular child, with its empty eyes and holier-than-thou air balance of ma and pa, made its debut on Kris Jenner’s talk show.

I wonder if Kim and Kanye are on the “troublesome bitch” list at the hospital. You know for me to be on that list I just have to be late, but for them it’s probably a bunch of crazy demands like pillows made from nearly extinct ostriches spliced with Kourtney’s placenta.

Kim Kardashian Sent Out Fake Baby Photos to Weed Out Rats

kim and kanye fake babyInspired by the seasons of The Sopranos she just watched because she heard about James Gandolfini’s death and thought it was a prequel to Sister Act, Kim Kardashian cracked her shaved knuckles and practiced her skills as an accomplished and menacing mob boss on her friends.

In an attempt to weed out the rats, Kim sent fake photos of her and Kanye’s brand new baby North West to a select group of peers and acquaintances.

The snitches apparently weren’t afraid enough of getting stitches. From TMZ:  Continue reading “Kim Kardashian Sent Out Fake Baby Photos to Weed Out Rats”

Kim and Kanye Named Their Baby North, As In ‘North West’

kanye and kim basketball game Surely you heard that Kim and Kanye named their love child North West, as in Oregon and Washington. Or in their case, Kris Jenner and Kris Jenner (always watching). The child, born at Cedars-Sinai — where all the celebs give birth, overdose and eventually die — currently has no middle name and is being called “Nori” for short, an apparent combination of her parent’s middle names, Noel and Omari.

I’ve been thinking of ways this family can expand their ever-growing empire and I think this baby is the catalyst…

If they would just listen to me and give it the middle name “By,” as in North By [North] West, they could start a music and arts festival featuring only their blood relatives.  Continue reading “Kim and Kanye Named Their Baby North, As In ‘North West’”